On Hiatus

Please enjoy reruns until new episodes begin February 7, 2005.

Chemical Brother

Does anyone else find amusement in the fact that Marion Barry will be teaching a chemistry class today in a Washington DC high school?

The New Art of IMing...

IM, be it through Yahoo, AOL or whatever other you choose is becoming the easiest way to keep in touch with someone. It is easy, informal and fast. This does not mean all etiquette should be lost when using it. I have been teased for being grammatically correct while IMing. Most people don't use punctuation (e.g., no commas, periods, apostrophes, capital letters). I do. It's in me. I can't escape it and I type far slower when I try. There are also a couple abbreviations that are commonly used - btw (by the way), lol (laughing out loud), wtf (what the f***) and brb (be right back - which does not mean 50 minutes....)

Slow People Have No Reason To Live With Me

I'm tall and I have long legs. This combination makes me a fast walker. Well, that and I can be rather impatient at times. I realized this morning (yet again) that I have little to no tolerance for slow walkers....especially when I'm trying to catch a train to work and they are hindering my chances. Who are these moseyers and why don't they have anywhere to be or anything close to a sense of urgency? It would be bad enough to be trapped behind a wall of these peeps, but being tall I can see over them to where I want and need to be, which makes the slowness that much more frustrating. I do believe I have discovered and acquired a new syndrome....shall we call it Foot Rage? Walk Rage? Sidewalk Rage?

Evacuation of the Month

My boss, a colleague and I were working late last night trying to get a presentation done for a meeting we're having Thursday in Florida. Sometime around 6:15 (yes I realize that's not late, but we were nowhere near done) the fire alarm went off. We milled about for a bit ignoring it until we realized we should probably leave. After reminding my boss that he needed to take the stairs not the elevator we started our descent. We were immediately hit by the smell of gasoline. Not good. After hanging out on the sidewalk to see what was going on, he took us to McDonald's and bought us sundaes. He and I sent our pregnant co-worker home and were able to enter the building at 7:30 and work another hour or so. L'Enfant in December combined with this in January makes me wonder what February holds for me in the world of evacuation.

Do I Have Cooties?

Evidently, I only get mauled or hugged at the end of dates. There is no in between. What happened to the traditional good night kiss at the door? Was it left back in high school along with making out on the couch? Sigh. I went out with the marine again Sunday. He went out of his way to take me to Trader Joe's after I casually mentioned that it was something I really missed about California (it really is the small things people). So, he went online, found a TJs, drove an hour to the city to pick me up, drove another 1/2 hour to TJs, shopped with me, carried my bag to the car, drove me home, carried my bag to my apartment, asked if he could come in, stayed and chatted while watching football for over an hour, then left with a look and a quick hug. I would think he wants to be just friends (which would be great - I have fun with him and don't know if I have that physical attraction yet) but there were things that he said and did that would normally make me think he likes me likes me. WTF?

You've Been Overserved

Inaugural activities are really fun even if you dislike the president they are "honoring". My timing was impeccable Wednesday evening - I managed to avoid 43, yet enjoy a few of the events thrown for him. I think I actually fooled myself into thinking they were holiday parties - the ground was covered in snow, it was finally cold here (the weather gods have been acting as though it's spring until recently), I got to wear this really great dress that I've been wanting to wear for awhile. All in all a good evening. Especially since I also managed to avoid my boss - don't get me wrong, he's a good guy (to me) and we get along smashingly but the dress was pretty, um, flattering to my chest and I really didn't think it was an appropriate outfit to wear when meeting my boss' wife for the first time. On a bad note, I left my favorite winter hat at the last place we were at and had a headache until having the drinks with the Marine. I am officially too old to party like a rock star.

Marine Life

Last night I went to drinks with a Marine (sorry Dad). Growing up the daughter of a Green Beret and very near a Marine base I haven't had the best thoughts in regard to Marines. This guy managed to change some of that. He was a perfect gentleman the entire evening, very fun, engaging, smart, cute. He was there before I was and when I walked over to the table he stood up and waited for me to sit, ordered for me (I'm such a sucker for stuff like that), started to walk me home until I realized his car was the opposite direction of where I was going. I gave him a hug at the end of the evening and I'm not a big hugger. It was really, really nice to not have the awkward kiss moment at the end of the date. I just might start liking this Marine from Montana...

Details Have Been Changed to Protect the Not-So-Innocent

A friend is traveling for business this week and got a bit lonely last night. So, she went online, started chatting with a young fellow from the area. After awhile they decided to meet in the hotel bar to see if there was a physical attraction. There was. Turns out he was the manager for the Hilton she was staying at. So a few drinks later (probably more than a few knowing her...) they went up to her room. Taking advantage of the situation, she had him fix her TV - it was stuck on closed captioning and driving her nuts. She was so thankful, they started making out. They fooled around a bit and then decided to call it a night - she was lonely, not slutty. I bet she really loves the service now that she's become a Hilton HHonors GOLD member.

Baby It's Cold Outside

We have finally had our first real snowfall here in DC. It just stopped snowing after a good four hours and it is so pretty outside. Should make getting to the inaugural events this evening a challenge, but I think I can manage.

Romance Ritalin?

I was just told I have dating ADD. It was meant as a joke but unfortunately I really think it's true. I'm sure someday I will meet someone who will hold my interest longer than a few dates but as of yet, it's a no go.

He's Not an Ass

Got an email this morning saying he got caught up at work (very plausible), called the wrong number last night so I never got his message. Maybe I'm naive, but I think he deserves a second chance.

Lend Me Some Sugar - I am Your Neighbor

Instead of a date, I stayed home last night and watched this program on Fuse. It listed the top 10 Hooked in Your Head songs. Number 4 was "Hey Ya" and I have not been able to get that line out of my head since last night. Should've been number 1. Anyway, for the first time ever I was stood up last night. It was someone I'd gone out with before and we'd talked at 5. He said he'd call later.....hmmm. There is a possibility that he couldn't find my cell number (he'd only used it once almost 3 weeks ago). There is a possibility that he was trapped under something heavy and couldn't reach the phone. If that's the case, I really hope he is okay. The last possibility is that he's just an ass. I'll let you know.

Almost Cigar

Went to a friend's house Saturday night for a yummy dinner and football watching. The theme of the evening was Pigskin and Pork but the best conversation revolved around a cow. Our friend Stephanie was giving her boyfriend Tuan grief over the lack of an engagement ring on her finger (something she does often). I should mention here that it is something that is inevitable - they have discussed this at length and I can't imagine a better pairing for either of them. They are one of those couples that are truly meant for each other. Regardless, she was teasing him about reasons he hasn't proposed yet when he busted out the line "well, right now I can have my cow and milk it too". As much as others tried to correct him to use the oft repeated phrase of mothers everywhere "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", his was so much funnier and I have to admit more appropriate now that men don't actually buy their wives.

Inaugural Woes

Even though DC voted 9-1 for Kerry, it's a tough town to be a Democrat in right now. Everywhere you go, there are signs of the impending inaugural 'festivities' which are making denial a hard place to live. Invites arrive everyday for events, balls, parties. One would almost get the impression that we don't have a deficit. Oh, but wait, we do and it's a bigun. Which is the 'reason' the city of DC for the first time is having to cut into it's homeland security budget to pay for all the extra security next week (about $20 million) for the most expensive inauguration to date. Ugh. And yes, before you ask, I would still be upset about it if John Kerry were up there next week.

Although I wouldn't have had the same reaction to the Hecht's display window as I did earlier this week. I was walking to the metro after work Tuesday, listening to music, minding my business when I turned my head to check out what Hecht's had in the window. Usually it's a nice display of shirts, maybe cocktail dresses, sometimes even a display of an exhibit at a nearby museum. Instead it was what can only be described as a shrine to 43. Huge head shot in a gaudy gold frame with some other things that I can't remember because my immediate reaction was to recoil from what I was seeing with something akin to a snarl on my face. I did manage to recover quickly and continue walking but not before hearing the man behind me chuckle. I merely shrugged my shoulders which made him laugh more. And I am not alone in this Pavlovian reaction to all things 43 - Agie, after hearing my story, walked that way last night. I got a phone call from her right after she passed it saying "Oh my God - it's huge - you were right. I had the same reaction!" So much for bygones.

California Vernacular

From time to time I enjoy infusing a bit of my Calispeak into my chats here on the East Siiide. December saw the resurrection of "stoked". "Awesome" has been, and will always be one of my favs. It is always entertaining when first slipping the Calispeak into conversation. Some laugh and get the joke, others have never heard the word before. But all end up using it.

It has been determined that the word of the month is "righteous" accompanied, of course, by the fist pump. So when your boss tells you you're closed on Inauguration Day (Black Thursday in my house), make a fist, push it forward and whisper softly "Righteous".

Some People Must Not Hear Themselves When They Speak

That can be the only rational explanation for the words that are spewing from the lips of SPC Graner's attorney in the defense of Graner's actions at Abu Ghraib. Guy Womack - Graner's attorney - has argued the piling of naked prisoners into pyramids and leading them by a leash are acceptable. He compared this to pyramids made by cheerleaders and parents putting tethers on toddlers while shopping, etc.

"Don't cheerleaders all over America form pyramids six to eight times a year. Is that torture?"

"You're keeping control of them. A tether is a valid control to be used in corrections," he said. "In Texas we'd lasso them and drag them out of there."

Ahhh...he's from Texas. Nevermind.

My Friends Make Me Look Boring and Tame

Went to a party last Saturday night. I told you that story I'd be alright ,uh huh. It ain't no big thing. Okay enough Lita Ford. Now that you have one of the worst songs ever stuck in your head I will tell you my story. Saturday night a kickball friend had a party for her birthday. Great group of people - all from different parts of her life; triathletes, kickballers, people from work, her mom (who was a hoot), etc. One person got stuck in the bathroom and the hostess came very close to breaking down the door. Another decided to raid her cache of Belgian beer (yum yum) and serve it to all of us (we thought he had brought it). Did I mention it was really, really expensive Belgian beer that she got IN BELGIUM?

By the end of the evening most people were pretty tanked and not exactly making the best decisions. Case in point....the young, ahem, lady who decided that she wanted to play strip kickball in the street at 1 am while it was 40 degrees outside. This same dame quickly became convinced that she would be able to drive home. The only way her guy could get the keys from her was to agree to strip greco-roman wrestling. Yes, you read that correctly - I could not make that up. It was probably the most entertaining end to an evening I've had for quite awhile. You know it's a good party when it involved rescue, theft and nudity.

Sticker Shock

Wouldn't it be a great country if I could use the tax $$ that I pay each year for my own personal use? I could pay for about 1/2 a year of full time tuition. One year tuition at George Washington University is over $30,000. Outrageous. I went to a private school my first year of college (granted, it was a very long time ago) and it was only $18,000 and that included room and board. Oy. This is depressing.

Life Lesson #28,746

This comes courtesy of a friend:
"We were interviewing someone for a position at my company and I went to pick her up from the lobby. To cut to the quick of the story, she is blind. I didn't want to be overly helpful, but I didn't want her to get hurt either, seeing as how I'm supposed to be guiding her along. She was using a stick to help guide herself in the hallways and I thought she was doing well. I informed my supervisor that she was here and that I'd bring her in when they were ready to interview her.
"Well. . . I'm escorting her to our conference room. . . where one door was shut in its locked position and the other was open. She claimed that she could see up close but not clearly. Two of my supervisors get up to greet the job candidate. I started walking toward the open portion of the door leading the woman by her elbow. . . but . . . she didn't step in front of me into the open section of the door. Yep! You guessed. 'THUD!' Or as Homer Simpson might have put it 'D'OH!' She ran right into the door. But she recovered and stumbled through the open part of the door.
"I felt really bad. No one quite knew what to do or say. To make things worse, one of our secretaries who was just making conversation/small talk asked her if she WAS DRIVING?! How bad is that?! Needless to say, a few days later when we offered her the job, she turned us down. She had a near perfect GPA too! So much for impressing her. I think that day we were the challenged ones."

**And no Randy, you are not a bad person for laughing at that story.**

Your Breath Smells Like Marissa

As some of you know, I have been homesick off and on for the past few weeks. This has mainly been because of the holidays but also because I haven't visited for about 6 months. Two things that are getting me through and making me not so much homesick are:
1. The unseasonably warm weather we've been having. It's like So Cal - I've been walking around, at night no less, without a coat and they're getting nailed with storms. Crazy.
2. The OC. One of the most entertaining shows on the TV. The writing produces classic one liners every episode. It may be cheesy, it may be unrealistic but it's a show that makes me laugh every week while showing beautiful shots of the area I grew up in. Plus, Modest Mouse was on last night. To me that's worth the hour a week.

The Last Call (tm pending)

In response to my post yesterday, a good friend and I have come up with "The Last Call". It would be similar in size and design to the pagers some restaurants give you when you're waiting for a table with a small addition. Once your prearranged time has passed and it has buzzed, you get a small shock every 1/2 hour you stay out. The shocks would, of course, increase in intensity. The only way to end them would be to swipe it on something set up at your house. Of course, this would not deter those who are having such a good time they just take the device off. So lives free will.

How to Make $1,000,000

I stayed out a bit later than I wanted to last night. I left work to have a few drinks with someone I don't know very well, not really expecting to have anything more than a nice time getting to know this guy. I had a great exit strategy if he turned out to be a complete tool or I got tired or bored. I was having such a fun time laughing and chatting I was shocked that it was FOUR HOURS LATER. Now, I'm not complaining by any means. I really did have a nice time (normally the kiss of death, but not here). I'm just saying if someone were to create a device that you could set to go off at a certain time to get you home at a decent hour so that you aren't exhausted the next day that person could afford a couple houses in Georgetown.

Anaheim is in The OC B*TCH

From the LA Times: "The franchise today announced that it has switched to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, a name that downplays the Orange County city where the team's home games are played. "

I am far too irritated by this to comment further.

See Number 5 of Things I Learned...

It's official. I have won my fantasy football league Super Bowl. The victory is sweet for a couple reasons.
1. I won.
2. I beat 11 other people, all of whom were male. Most made comments along the lines of "You are going to get spanked" (hence my team name Spank This) or "I know some guy is helping you - you can't be winning on your own".

Hello, 1955 called - it wants its male chauvinists back.