What Kind of Cheese Are You?

Cheese Test: What type of cheese are you?

Medical Evidence Proves I'm Special

And no, I don't mean short bus special. Man, my week keeps getting better. Turns out my tooth is cracked down to the jaw bone which is the reason anything being done to it is fine for a day or so and then starts to cause me indescribeable amounts of pain. So I had a root canal this afternoon. During the procedure I found out I have four canals instead of the usual three and they are 25 somethings long instead of the usual 23.

My Boyfriend Kicks Ass

So I'm having an awful day. I had a tooth fixed last week which was supposed to mark the end of my dental misadventures for the year. It started bothering me Tuesday, so I went in, they tinkered and told me to come back in 6 weeks. It was bothering me a bit and I hoped it would get better, but instead it has gotten to the point where I didn't sleep last night and even my tongue touching it makes a shooting pain go through my jaw. I called first thing this morning and was told my dentist wouldn't be in until Wednesday, which happens to be the day of our huge annual event. So, they got me in to see another dentist today. Hopefully it will take care of the problem. In addition to my tooth problems, I got to the Metro this morning and realized I had left my smartrip card at home. I didn't have anything close to a small bill in my wallet so I had to dig for change for a fare card. Plus, I've been stressed to the gills about next week. I've been on the verge of tears all morning (which usually doesn't happen, but no sleep plus pain plus unfortunate circumstances in time of high stress will do that to you).

So when I got a call from the front desk that I had a delivery I thought "what else?". The delivery turned out to be flowers with a note saying "Hope that your day gets better, Paul". He really is a great guy, not because he got me flowers, but because he took time to try to make me feel better. This is why he was worth a second chance. I am so glad I was able to give it to him.

My Name is Earl

I love Jason Lee. There, I said it. There is just something about him that I really adore. So when I heard he had a show premiering this season I was very excited. It's a good thing I like Mr. Lee not just for his boyish good looks otherwise this show would be a total wash. 70's CHiPS stache, check. Mullet with receeding hairline, check. T-shirt with sleeves cut off to show non-existent muscles, check. So I watched, nervously, hoping it wouldn't be some redneck comedy. Since moving to what is technically "the South" what little tolerance I had for that type of people has completely vanished due to people like the guy who had a tatoo on his arm of West Virginia filled in with the Confederate flag....viewing made possible by aforementioned t-shirt with sleeves cut off. Moving on. The show was great. See review above.

Romance Update

Real quick update on the Paul sitch. He and I have been spending a lot of time together the past few weeks and 95% of the time it has been great. There have been a few moments of angst, but they have all diffused relatively quickly and well. He's headed to Baltimore this weekend to hang out with the boys. I am a bit nervous about it, but trust him not to do anything that would hurt me or our relationship. I will be working at least all day Sunday, possibly Saturday as well and there is a possibility of hooking up (not in that way) with a former co-worker who may be in town Friday, so that should keep my mind off what he could be doing. Again, I trust him, but can't help the fleeting thoughts. I always had an overactive imagination. Damn my brilliant mind! Okay, it's probably statements like that that make Paul think I'm arrogant. Eh. Bygones.

One World Currency

After sitting with my boss for 40 minutes trying to make sense of his receipts from a trip that took him to two countries and used three currencies I have come to the conclusion that the world should have one currency. That's it. Just one. It would be so simple. It sure as hell would make my life easier and really, isn't that what it is all about? This idea is going up on the wall, right next to my Midwest Plan. If you know not of what I speak, you're totally missing out on gold.

Avast Me Hearties!

It is September 19th and you know what that means..... National Talk Like a Pirate Day. I really do believe my co-workers and I need to get out more given the level of excitement and amusement we are getting from this holiday. Any complainers? I'll make 'em walk the plank.

Foreign Affairs

The last two days have been very busy, stressful days here at work. It sucks. Especially because my boss is in Europe, arriving back in the office tomorrow. Monday, Tuesday and today were supposed to be kick back days. Yeah, not so much. I worked about 11.5 hours yesterday, all of them hectic.

Today I get in to find the following emails:
8:42 am "Hour delay in sofia. Unless delay too out of Frankfurt I'll never make connection. Check with airline/agent to find options. I should be on ground in 1 hour. I'll call. Have options ready. Tnx."
8:47 am "Business a must. Aisle too. See what they can come up with. "

Because that won't be difficult to do. Why on earth would you want to deal with the ticketing people in front of you who know what is going on? Instead, let's have someone in another country with limited to no access to flight information spend FOUR HOURS arranging your travel and hotel. Oh, and call and email every five minutes (no exaggeration) to get updates. And then, after having said person look up hotels in the bustling metropolis that is Sofia, Bulgaria and call five of them to hold rooms, go with the hotel that the airline suggests. He was lucky there were miles and an ocean in between us otherwise there would have been a world of hurt coming down on him. I felt for him, really I did. He'd spent close to 7 hours in a small, Eastern European airport. After hour three that went away and I wanted to inflict pain.

So now he will be back Friday, not tomorrow. I plan on having a leisurely day tomorrow. I will work hard, get my task list done, but I will do it at a calm pace. I don't get paid enough to stress like this.

Another Reason My State Rocks

Yes, I realize it's a Texas tycoon that donated the money, but I prefer to overlook that and focus entirely on where the animals end up.

Oh Quizno's - How You Deceive Me

Went across the street to Quizno's (they have a pickle bar) for some soup and a small salad (always trying to avoid scurvy this one, although the vat of orange juice I drank yesterday should hold me for a couple days). Now, I don't expect much from Quizno's. I generally go there if I don't have a lot of time or if the weather is poor because it is really, really close. Today it was a bit of the time, but mostly I am tired and wanted soup and didn't want to walk all the way to Au Bon Pain (you know I'm tired if 3 blocks is all the way). I sat at my desk, ate up my cup of soup (burnt my tongue - ow) and opened up my salad to find pure, cheap genius at work. A cursory glance at the greens shows a healthy mix of field greens; some purple cabbage, a little endive, spinach leaves, you get the idea. I went in thinking I was getting a good mixed green salad until I ate the two pieces of each of those to discover the rest of the container (about 80%) contained iceberg lettuce. No wonder it's only $2.50. Bravo Quizno's. Bravo.

I Choose to Blame the Cold Medicine

Completely forgot to give mad props (again, it's the cold medicine) to Katie for swinging by my apartment yesterday and dropping off OJ (the juice, not The Juice - she would never drop off a killer, um I mean "accused" killer) even after I bailed on going to the game yesterday. The liquid fruity goodness got me through the painful 9th inning of the Nats/Braves game. I shake my fist at you Chipper Jones!!!

Weekend Roundup

Going into this past weekend, I was excited about all the plans I had. Friday was the Jack Johnson concert with Agie, Saturday out with Paul and his friends (Cute Couple), Sunday game with Katie. By Saturday night I was exhausted and run down and by Sunday too sick to go to the game. I barely dragged myself in to the office this morning. If I didn't have two big projects to get done, I'd be home, drugged in bed. I can't imagine why I didn't see this coming. I've been under a pretty fair amount of stress at work, not to mention all the personal stuff and I've been out almost every night for a week. Thursday was my only night off, which I really needed after the concert with Paul Wednesday.

Jack Johnson was awesome. We ended up standing in the front row of the lawn section and had such a great time. The two girls next to us ended up being a really sweet couple from Agie's hometown (which is pretty small and in PA). Agie dropped me off at Paul's where I woke him up from a dead sleep because the beer I'd had interfered with my usual ninja-like stealthiness. I did feel bad the next morning when he was groggy and grumpy from lack of sleep.

Saturday Paul and I went to lunch where we ran into Katie (Paul's first run-in with one of my friends post-incident. He felt uncomfortable and thought Katie was cool towards him. I didn't notice, but if she was, can you blame her? It will get better I am sure. Over time, we'll all get over it as long as he doesn't do it again - if that happens all bets are off and my friends have free reign) and then went our separate ways. We met back up at Buffalo Billiard and played some pool. We were once again the victims of poor service - these establishments really need to hire more people. The guy started off pretty rude, but eventually made reparations even though we weren't able to order food until 10pm. Ugh. After that we went to The Big Hunt for a couple beers and better service. Unfortunately we only had one of the two. Evidently the bartender was really rude to Melissa. So unnecessary. While she and Chris were outside talking Paul got all hokey on me. To paraphrase : I like you. Really. Thank you for putting up with me. I teased him about it yesterday, but not because it was silly or dumb, because it was really cute and sweet.

Sunday Paul and I went to breakfast where we actually had pretty good service and then split up to run errands and have some sorely needed down time. I woke up sneezy and stayed that way the entire day. I haven't been able to breathe through my nose since Saturday night and woke up this morning completely congested, but sneezing less thank God. Hopefully it will run it's course by tomorrow. I'm in charge of a fairly big tasting event Wednesday and I would prefer to be healthy.

Burn the Boot

I have been boot free for almost two weeks now. Man, life is good. I really, really hated that beast. The ankle has been holding up fairly well, it hurts, but no more than it ever did so I'm taking that as a sign it is healing. The doctor told me as much this afternoon at my follow-up. He reviewed the films from my MRI (I had to go get one last week - freaky) and said there are no tears, ruptures, tumors (what?!?! that was an option?!?!) but there is fluid surrounding my tendon. Which can take up to 8 months to heal completely. Sigh. So much for running by the end of the year.

I'm Such a Geek

I am a little excited about The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe movie coming out. I loved the books growing up (okay, I admit - I don't think I ever finished the Prince Caspian one) and re-read them every couple years. The movies thus far have been pretty bad, but this one is looking to be pretty good....we'll see if they stick to the book.

Update

Paul and I went to dinner last night. It actually went really well once we got out of my apartment. It was a bit rough there at first. Didn't do the kiss hello I usually do and was very standoffish - not intentionally of course, just didn't know what to do or how to act. Once we started walking though it was good. We talked on the walk to dinner and then concentrated on enjoying each other's company and had a really fun time. We stopped and played a few games of pool on the way home which made me remember how good our first date was and why exactly I like him so much.

I came to the realization last night that I am more myself with him than anyone I've ever met...including myself. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. As it stands now, I am forgiving and forgetting (trying) and he is understanding it's going to take me a while to be completely okay. I am hopeful and that is good, right?

So I sent a Reader's Digest version of the above to my friend Mark. His reply : "One thought: have you ever stopped to think that you being more yourself is actually a bad thing? I mean, your personality does kind of suck. ;)" Thank God for friends that keep you humble, eh?

Looting v. Finding

I could tell watching the coverage of the hurricane aftermath that it was slanted, but this makes me disgusted. I'm not sure why I am surprised at this, but it is just awful.

On a more amusing, albeit still disturbing, note some quotes from the one Bush I ever had fond feelings for:


Former first lady Barbara Bush said of those displaced from New Orleans to Houston's Astrodome: "And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

Mrs. Bush also said, "What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas."

http://www.npr.org/news/specials/hurricane/katrina/blog_090605.html

Oh Babs.....if only these were taken out of context. I still have a soft spot for ya.

Jimmy Eat Green Day

In all the, um, excitement I have forgotten to mention one of the best concerts (seriously, Top 5) I've been to. Paul, Agie, a friend of hers and I went to the Jimmy Eat World/Green Day show last Tuesday. It was fantastic. Just absolutely pure fun.

Top 5

Below are the Top Five Messages From Friends:

5. Just look inside yourself and ask if this is something worth fighting for.
4. I'm drunk in my backyard looking up at the moon but I can't find it. Oh there's the North Star. Okay, we are under the same star and I know you will be okay.
3. Ok. Take care of yourself and tell me if you need me. It will feel better soon. Do you need comfort sex?
2. When I get mad, I go to match.com and see what else is out there.
1. I tell you that life is sweet in spite of the misery...you will get through this. Promise. Love.

I know I have said this before, but I have an amazing group of friends. I am so blessed (Mark will get mad if I use the term lucky) to have these people in my life. I can only hope I am as good to them in their times of need. I really don't know what I would have done this weekend without them. I can't imagine what it is like to not have a support group.

And So It Goes

Paul and I went down to NC to visit his dad this weekend. I was really looking forward to it - getting away for four days, enjoying the slow calm that is the South; getting to finally spend some uninterrupted time with Paul who has been so busy working this past month. Despite his working so much, the last three weeks to a month (since we got back from his dad's last time right after I was considering ending it) have been great. I'd finally started to feel close to him, like he was letting me in, sharing himself with me and I was doing the same. Trust is a big deal for me and after six long years, I was letting myself fall for someone, giving a relationship a chance. It felt really good to know I deserve to be happy, that I deserve someone who treats me well. The weekend was going great - his dad and I get along well, and we even had a little heart to heart in the car while waiting for Paul. And then Sunday night happened.

I went to check my email while Paul and his dad took some stuff over to the house. I pulled up gmail and Paul's came up. He hadn't signed out after checking his. I know they say curiosity killed the cat, but I couldn't help myself. My initial reason for poking around was to see if he'd ever read an email I had sent him last time we were in NC, explaining why I was having such a difficult time trusting. Long story short, there were a number of emails that someone in a relationship should not be sending/receiving. He'd cheated on me.

I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. The last six months was all a lie. I'd been had. I'd been fooled. So many more thoughts raced through my head. And then I got mad. I decided not to say anything to him that evening. I didn't want to make his father uncomfortable and since we were there one more night I decided to play it cool. He, of course, knew something was bothering me and confronted me about it before we went to dinner. A ten minute conversation with him confronting me about why I was acting strangely (going outside to make phone calls, changing future plans) turned into a two hour fight about his infidelity. At the start I was ready to walk away from him Sunday and never see him again, as painful as that would be. He offered to find me a hotel, whatever I needed. By the end of the talk, I was ready to start thinking about things. He offered to do whatever necessary to make it right, to get me to trust him again, however long it could take, he would understand. He explained some things, things/reasons I won't get into here because they are personal to him. I can bare my thoughts and feelings and experiences but I won't do that with others'.

He went and told his father what was going on (he'd cheated on me, I found out) and we went to dinner. While he was showering his dad said something along the lines of what was Paul thinking about something unrelated and I answered "yes, your son can be a huge idiot". He just looked at me with a sad, understanding look and offered me another glass of wine. Dinner was actually okay for his father and me.

We got back to the apartment and Paul went outside on the steps. I went and joined him and we talked some more. He said he wanted to try and make us work. I do want that. I want to work this out with him. I need some time. Some time to think about whether I can ever trust him again; if he can change; if he wants to change; if he is someone I see a future with outside of this issue, because if he's not then why go through this.

The really tough part for me is this - He is me before I met him. Before Paul, I had a habit of sabotaging relationships before they got too serious, or starting relationships with people who were either unavailable or just no good for me. I didn't think I deserved better so I didn't seek it out. It has taken me a very long time to get to where I am now and I am so glad my gut reaction was not "of course this is happening" or "I deserve to be treated this way and for this to happen".

I don't know what to do or when I will know but I do know I will never, ever do anything to make someone feel the way I've been feeling the last couple days. I've changed. I just wonder if he can.

Weekend of August 18-21

I knew this was going to happen. I have almost completely forgotten what I did. Drat. Oh! Thursday I went to see The Aristocrats with Jim and some other folks. I have not laughed that hard in a movie quite possibly ever. If you are at all easily offended this film is not for you. That said, the movie was hilarious and just the right length.

Friday we went out with Paul's friends - the really cute couple from a couple weeks ago. They are super fun. We hung out, played some pool, had some dinner. The service was near non-existent until the manager who was checking ids at the door started to personally serve us. I should write a letter about that one.

The rest of the weekend is a bit of a blur - sorry if you are reading this and hurt that I can't seem to remember what I'm sure was a great time spent with you. Eh, bygones.

Last Weekend

Let's see.....last weekend. I think I stayed in Friday night. Is that right? NO. That was date night with Katie. We started our evening at the Nats game and then decided that we were having such fun with each other that we should continue our evening at her favorite bar. We had a great time. Best date I've been on forever (just kidding Paul, but Katie - it really was).

Saturday night Paul came over after working until 1:30 am Friday night and working from 6 - 5 Saturday. He was a trooper, not exactly a bundle of fun, but it was really great to see him and spend time with him. We went to bed like an old couple at 10:30.