Ann or Adolf?

Click above for an intriguing little quiz which asks "Who said this? Ann Coulter or Adolf Hitler?". I only missed two, but I took an independent study class focused on the Holocaust so that may have helped me. God knows it isn't because I'm familiar with her writings.

Song of the Third Scary Rainy Day

Pink Spiders - Little Razorblade

I've been really close to just walking out of here today. This song has the right amount of fun and angst to fit my mood perfectly and keep me from doing something unprofessional.

Boy Update

Here's the lowdown on what's going on.

1. Boy Scout Man - I had lunch with him two Fridays ago and it was great fun. We laughed pretty much the entire time. I'm such a sucker for a guy who can make me laugh. He was an Eagle Scout and now works for the Boy Scouts of America (Ah ha! The nickname makes much more sense now they say) and really loves his job, if not the politics of the organization. That could have been a deal breaker. Remember, I'm the girl who stopped seeing someone because they had a pinky ring. He's tall, good looking, intelligent enough. Drawbacks you ask? He's basically at camp in like Manassas until August which means he gets one day a week off to be home and catch up on stuff. So we've talked a couple times since then, always after 11 pm. Good thing I'm a night owl. We may meet up tomorrow.

2. British West Coast Pat (BWCP henceforth) - I met BWCP at a friend's house three Fridays ago. I felt comfortable with him, almost like I'd known him for years. We immediately struck up a banter that amused our friends to no end. Sometime around glass of wine number 4 it hit me. He is a taller, British West Coast Pat (the guy I was dating when I moved here and still remain friends with) down to the sense of humor, gestures and even occupation. It's freaky. Seriously. I've known WCP for going on 8 years. He's a great guy, fun, not the best looking but one of the best people I've ever had the good fortune to spend time with. We don't talk as much as we used to, probably about once every 6 weeks or so. So it was very coincidental that he called the very night I was getting to know his doppleganger (or as WCP calls him, his evil twin). The randomness of this world will never cease to entertain me. BWCP and I ended up having a great time that evening and he asked if I wanted to meet up with him Saturday after the Race for the Cure. I said yes, he gave me his number and we parted ways. I ended up not calling him and emailed him Monday explaining why and letting him know I enjoyed meeting him. He called and suggested taking me to dinner that Friday night and I accepted. We had a marvelous (I can't believe I used that word either) time. I'll leave it at that. He's great fun. I just need to be careful that I'm making sure to get to know him and not just enjoy time with him because he reminds me of someone I am fond of. We're having dinner this evening after not seeing each other last weekend. He made an attempt to see me Sunday evening but I had already made plans. I'm actually looking forward to a third? date. Something is amiss at the Circle K.

3. XM - So I've been avoiding him. Look, it isn't something I'm proud of in any way. I just really, really, really hate telling people I am not interested in them as more than friends. Especially after being somewhat romantically involved with them for a couple months now. Ugh. So not looking forward to it. I feel awful about the situation. I have no clue about how to do this but I know it needs to be done. It will just keep getting worse if I don't kill it now, right? I need to keep reminding myself of that. Double Ugh.

4. The Homeless - they love me. It is the weirdest thing. I have a ton of stories of random homeless men commenting to me about how lovely I am or how lucky the guy I'm with is, but I'm going to focus on the ones in my hood. There are a number of homeless men that hang out on the block where I catch my bus. Over the two years I've lived in my current apartment we've come to know one another. When I was in that horrid boot last summer one of them would check in on me as I was hailing a cab or walking past to see how I was healing. He even told me he thought of me as a wife which would scare anyone else, but I found rather sweet. I love my homeless guys. They always have kind words for me, be it a simple "Good morning" or "You look very nice today". They notice when I have a new suit or outfit and tell me it looks good. What girl wouldn't want to start her days this way? They're also quite protective of me. One night I noticed someone walking behind me and got a bit nervous. Just when I passed my homeless guys I heard them stop the guy and call out to me "It's okay sweetie - we'll keep him from following you home" and they did. So Wednesday morning I thought nothing of it when the wife comment guy came up to me while I was waiting for the bus and asked if the strange, scary homeless guy was bothering me. I said no and he looked at me and asked "So, when are you and I going to go to dinner?". I couldn't think of anything to say but "I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much". Be quiet - he didn't know I was lying. He then went on and on about how he wasn't asking in that way and that he was just being a gentleman asking a friend out for a meal. Thankfully my bus pulled up then and I said good bye.

Okay, I've got to go get pretty(er) for my date with BWCP. This weekend should be fairly tame - tomorrow I'm hanging with Jim and Sunday I've got the wine festival with friends.

Quote of the Day

I had an evening of tapas and sangria with Angie a couple weeks ago. After giving her the lowdown on the boy situation (it was right around the time 24 and R professed their feelings for me out of the blue among other male happenings) she looked me straight in the eye and asked "Are you sure you want to get married?". I was able to honestly say "I don't want to just get married. More than anything else, I want to get married to the right guy." She said she asked because I seem to really enjoy being single. And believe me, I do. It's fun and sometimes exciting to meet new people and go places you may not think to go on your own. It also can be tremendously dull, time consuming and exhausting. My reasoning for being so sure that settling down and marriage are what I want? Well, that is the quote of the day. I recycled it a few minutes ago to a friend feeling a bit down? guilty? about the number of people he's dated.

"At least when we settle down we will be happy in the knowledge that there isn't better out there because we have dated and/or slept with everyone else".

Take comfort where you can people.

AOL Hell

Everyone has one of these stories or knows someone who does. A long, long time ago when I was younger and less wise I had an account with AOL. When I wizened up and realized I could get better service cheaper elsewhere I went to cancel my account. There was no way to do it online and the number they listed (which took forever to find and I am quite internet savvy) was always busy. On the rare occasion it wasn't I was on hold forever and one thing or another would cause me to hang up. I eventually just called my bank and told them I lost the card that AOL was charging every month.

Click above to hear a man who had way more patience than I did. Absolutely ridiculous that they continue to make it this difficult to cancel an account. And people think Microsoft is the devil.

"Life is a Banquet

And those poor sons-of-bitches are starving!"

Last night the girls and I went to the Kennedy Center to see Mame.  We met at the rooftop bar first to have some cocktails and nibblies and had a great time chatting - which set the tone of hilarity for the evening. Let's just say there was more than one Mame at the table.

Christine Baranski was the titular Auntie Mame and Harriet Haris was her good friend Vera. Harriet is Felicia Tillman on Desperate Housewives. You might also recognize her as Frasier's agent. Anyways, the show was fantastic. There were points the six of us were laughing so hard we were crying. Who knew the Man in the Moon is a Lady? Thank goodness we were in the back row and pretty much everyone in front of us was a blue hair with bad hearing.

After the show Agie drove home, we put Angie on the Metro shuttle and Sarah, Heather, Katie and I got in the cab line. Sarah ended up hopping into a cab pretty fast, sharing it with some strangers who were also going to Arlington. I hope she didn't get stolen. Heather, Katie and I eventually got into a cab (we live in a very convenient line through the city) and somehow Katie talked me into going to McDonald's with her so she could get a sundae. Man, the McD's in my hood is a creepy place at 11 pm.

I Know, I'm a Tease

Things I promise to catch you up on in the next couple days:

1. Romance (term used loosely) including dates with boyscout man, British West Coast Pat and guy I wanted to ditch within five minutes; my avoidance of XM because I hate telling people I'm just not that into them; how much the homeless love me.

2. Nighttime activities including movies, concerts that were supposed to be and never were as well as concerts that are coming soon, dancing and drinks with friends.

3. Sports. Man the sporting world has been good to me lately. Still can't believe the Nats game Saturday. Just wait until you hear the story of Yankee boy. A classic!

I know there are other things I am forgetting. Drat. I hate it when I don't keep up with the blog, so many things get lost.

Worst Date Ever?

D.C. can be a difficult city to date in. According to Jim (not the awful show, my friend) my dating life has been far above the average. Unfortunately he's talking about quantity, not quality. I could make some broad generalizations about D.C. men (i.e. they're short, arrogant when they have no reason to be) but I won't because I know better. There are some really good people in this city and I have been very fortunate with the friends I've made here. That said, D.C. is not the easiest city to be single in - most people are married to their jobs either by choice or necessity. It's a city where something is always going on, which can work in your favor sometimes, but most times it just means everyone is too busy to invest a significant amount of time to a relationship. I'm not judging here - I've been guilty of that far too many times to count. Anyways, this is not what I was meaning to post about.

I had three really fun dates last week (more later), so when a co-worker mentioned at the screening the other night that she would be going on a bad date Wednesday Jim and I asked her a couple questions....How do you know it's going to be bad? If you know it's going to be bad, why are you going? etc. Her replies were "they are always bad" and "he knows someone we work with so I feel I need to go". We laughed and said that maybe it wouldn't be that bad. Oh, I have never been more wrong....

"It was probably to worst date of my life. I really feel like I need to tell about it in person, but just as a little tid bit, the following occurred:

1. He told me he spent a year in prison.
2. He wants to "introduce" me to some Arab men.
3. When I caught him looking down my shirt, he yelled, "I hate your cleavage!"
4. He rubbed his head on my arm and said, "I love your arm."
5. He professed his love abruptly and frequently.

I am not making this up."

As soon as I got my laughing under control, I had her come to my office to get the detail in person. Hard to believe but it was much better with the live re-enactment. I now consider myself a lucky girl for never, ever having a date anywhere near as bad.

The Brit

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this, but I'm a casual fan of Britney. Watching her interview with Matt Lauer this morning I started to feel sad for her. I can't imagine what it must be like to be always surrounded by people yelling your name and taking your picture, waiting for you to look bad or do something stupid. Yes, she surrendered a certain part of her anonymity when she decided to pursue a career in music, but there has to be a line. Anyways, I was feeling some sympathy for her, no one should have to deal with constant harassment, but then I saw the outfit and the gum chewing. Now, I'm not saying she deserves to be hounded by the paparazzi because she's a tacky, tacky girl (seriously, who goes on Dateline to garner sympathy showing so much leg and wearing a shirt so low that their clashing bright pink bra shows?) but if you want to be left alone, maybe, just maybe, you should stop handing the tabloids so much ammunition. Clean yourself up, get your husband to stop wearing manpris and wifebeaters, or at least buy him a belt and put your kid in a stroller/carseat and some sort of pants. I've seen enough of your family's underwear thank you very much. Just a start, but baby steps Brit, baby steps.

With Roommates Like These, Who Needs Friends?

I can't stop laughing. Last summer a Quiznos opened across the street from our building and every day there would be some poor schmo dressed in a soda cup suit. I kept hoping he would trip just to see if he could get up without assistance. I know, I am a bad, bad person, but the site above proves that it would be entertaining if not hilarious.

Does This Make Me A Bad Person?

This story made me laugh. I'd like to think that if I were suddenly homeless and without possessions I would use the funds the government gave me for something more substantial than "Girls Gone Wild". The champagne I can see (although who knew that Hooters carried $200 bottles of champagne?)but these people are from New Orleans - haven't they had plenty of opportunity to see girls flashing boobs?


WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A $200 bottle of champagne from Hooters and $300 worth of "Girls Gone Wild" videos were among items bought with debit cards handed out by FEMA to help hurricane victims, auditors probing $1 billion in potential waste and fraud have found.

The cards -- given to people displaced by Hurricanes Katrina and Rita -- also bought diamond jewelry and a vacation in the Dominican Republic, according to the Government Accountability Office audit.

The GAO uncovered records showing that $1,000 from a FEMA debit card went to a Houston divorce lawyer; $600 was spent in a strip club and $400 was spent on "adult erotica products," all of which auditors concluded were "not necessary to satisfy legitimate disaster needs."

Today Totally Rocks

For these reasons (in no particular order):

1. I discovered that I can listen to my favorite radio station from home online. I now get to spend M-F mornings with my good friends Kevin & Bean. Ahhhh....that alone could have made today totally rock, but wait, there's more.
2. I just got passes to an advance screening of Nacho Libre for this evening. I want to see this movie since it has the potential to be very funny, but am hesitant to pay money for it since it has the potential to be very bad. This is perfect.
3. It is absolutely gorgeous outside.
4. There are still tons of World Cup soccer games to watch. I've got the fever.
5. The clip of Stone Phillips (yum) on The Colbert Report (click above) has been cracking me up all day. "Suddenly, and without warning, it turned into a real life game of Hungry Hungry Hippos".

Boys Are Dumb Throw Rocks At Them Part 2

More accurately part something higher, but I lost count somewhere around part 156,257,865. I am meeting a friend in a bit for a drink because evidently all ex-boyfriends are complete asshats at times. Guys, is it that hard to be just a bit sensitive even if you aren't the one who broke up? Help me out boys. Restore some of my lost faith in men. Thanks much.

Most Random of the Day

I was standing outside SoHo today waiting for my friend Ron to finish his cigarette (I know. I wish he'd stop too) when I felt something hit the side of my foot. I looked down and saw an apple core. This thing was brown people. It hadn't just been finished and discarded. Oh, and there was no one within 20 feet of us.  The sky is raining down used fruit - watch out.

Hillies Are Lame For The Most Part

But I don't spend my entire life hating them. Just saying. Which, in essence, is why the date last week with D will be the last with him. I'm a naturally happy person. I enjoy life and take pretty full advantage of what it has to offer. If there is something in my life that I don't like, I try my best to rid myself of it or figure out how to deal with it until I can. He was too cynical for my taste. Really good looking, funny, smart but man does he hate him some people and things about life. He wasn't a morose, unhappy person. It is hard to explain. It isn't two hours of my life I can never get back, but it is definitely two hours of my life I won't be giving again. Make sense?

Oh - hillies are hill staffers. Much like the ones being mocked in the link above mocking the Washington Post article on "wing men". Enjoy.