Give me some good beer, conversation, friends, and music and there is little that will bother me. I try to treat others as I wish to be treated and when I don't, I like to think I learn from my mistakes. I believe most people are trustworthy until proven otherwise. I'm a conversational snob. I have little tolerance for stupidity or rudeness. Common courtesy is one of the best traits one can have. I believe there is conversation that is inappropriate for the dinner table. I love running into people I used to know, but am always happier if I look cute when it happens. I think there would be much less ruckus in the world if brunch were a daily offering.

Monday, June 19, 2006

I Know, I'm a Tease

Things I promise to catch you up on in the next couple days:

1. Romance (term used loosely) including dates with boyscout man, British West Coast Pat and guy I wanted to ditch within five minutes; my avoidance of XM because I hate telling people I'm just not that into them; how much the homeless love me.

2. Nighttime activities including movies, concerts that were supposed to be and never were as well as concerts that are coming soon, dancing and drinks with friends.

3. Sports. Man the sporting world has been good to me lately. Still can't believe the Nats game Saturday. Just wait until you hear the story of Yankee boy. A classic!

I know there are other things I am forgetting. Drat. I hate it when I don't keep up with the blog, so many things get lost.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Worst Date Ever?

D.C. can be a difficult city to date in. According to Jim (not the awful show, my friend) my dating life has been far above the average. Unfortunately he's talking about quantity, not quality. I could make some broad generalizations about D.C. men (i.e. they're short, arrogant when they have no reason to be) but I won't because I know better. There are some really good people in this city and I have been very fortunate with the friends I've made here. That said, D.C. is not the easiest city to be single in - most people are married to their jobs either by choice or necessity. It's a city where something is always going on, which can work in your favor sometimes, but most times it just means everyone is too busy to invest a significant amount of time to a relationship. I'm not judging here - I've been guilty of that far too many times to count. Anyways, this is not what I was meaning to post about.

I had three really fun dates last week (more later), so when a co-worker mentioned at the screening the other night that she would be going on a bad date Wednesday Jim and I asked her a couple questions....How do you know it's going to be bad? If you know it's going to be bad, why are you going? etc. Her replies were "they are always bad" and "he knows someone we work with so I feel I need to go". We laughed and said that maybe it wouldn't be that bad. Oh, I have never been more wrong....

"It was probably to worst date of my life. I really feel like I need to tell about it in person, but just as a little tid bit, the following occurred:

1. He told me he spent a year in prison.
2. He wants to "introduce" me to some Arab men.
3. When I caught him looking down my shirt, he yelled, "I hate your cleavage!"
4. He rubbed his head on my arm and said, "I love your arm."
5. He professed his love abruptly and frequently.

I am not making this up."

As soon as I got my laughing under control, I had her come to my office to get the detail in person. Hard to believe but it was much better with the live re-enactment. I now consider myself a lucky girl for never, ever having a date anywhere near as bad.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

The Brit


I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this, but I'm a casual fan of Britney. Watching her interview with Matt Lauer this morning I started to feel sad for her. I can't imagine what it must be like to be always surrounded by people yelling your name and taking your picture, waiting for you to look bad or do something stupid. Yes, she surrendered a certain part of her anonymity when she decided to pursue a career in music, but there has to be a line. Anyways, I was feeling some sympathy for her, no one should have to deal with constant harassment, but then I saw the outfit and the gum chewing. Now, I'm not saying she deserves to be hounded by the paparazzi because she's a tacky, tacky girl (seriously, who goes on Dateline to garner sympathy showing so much leg and wearing a shirt so low that their clashing bright pink bra shows?) but if you want to be left alone, maybe, just maybe, you should stop handing the tabloids so much ammunition. Clean yourself up, get your husband to stop wearing manpris and wifebeaters, or at least buy him a belt and put your kid in a stroller/carseat and some sort of pants. I've seen enough of your family's underwear thank you very much. Just a start, but baby steps Brit, baby steps.

With Roommates Like These, Who Needs Friends?

I can't stop laughing. Last summer a Quiznos opened across the street from our building and every day there would be some poor schmo dressed in a soda cup suit. I kept hoping he would trip just to see if he could get up without assistance. I know, I am a bad, bad person, but the site above proves that it would be entertaining if not hilarious.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Does This Make Me A Bad Person?

This story made me laugh. I'd like to think that if I were suddenly homeless and without possessions I would use the funds the government gave me for something more substantial than "Girls Gone Wild". The champagne I can see (although who knew that Hooters carried $200 bottles of champagne?)but these people are from New Orleans - haven't they had plenty of opportunity to see girls flashing boobs?


WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A $200 bottle of champagne from Hooters and $300 worth of "Girls Gone Wild" videos were among items bought with debit cards handed out by FEMA to help hurricane victims, auditors probing $1 billion in potential waste and fraud have found.

The cards -- given to people displaced by Hurricanes Katrina and Rita -- also bought diamond jewelry and a vacation in the Dominican Republic, according to the Government Accountability Office audit.

The GAO uncovered records showing that $1,000 from a FEMA debit card went to a Houston divorce lawyer; $600 was spent in a strip club and $400 was spent on "adult erotica products," all of which auditors concluded were "not necessary to satisfy legitimate disaster needs."

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Today Totally Rocks

For these reasons (in no particular order):

1. I discovered that I can listen to my favorite radio station from home online. I now get to spend M-F mornings with my good friends Kevin & Bean. Ahhhh....that alone could have made today totally rock, but wait, there's more.
2. I just got passes to an advance screening of Nacho Libre for this evening. I want to see this movie since it has the potential to be very funny, but am hesitant to pay money for it since it has the potential to be very bad. This is perfect.
3. It is absolutely gorgeous outside.
4. There are still tons of World Cup soccer games to watch. I've got the fever.
5. The clip of Stone Phillips (yum) on The Colbert Report (click above) has been cracking me up all day. "Suddenly, and without warning, it turned into a real life game of Hungry Hungry Hippos".

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Boys Are Dumb Throw Rocks At Them Part 2

More accurately part something higher, but I lost count somewhere around part 156,257,865. I am meeting a friend in a bit for a drink because evidently all ex-boyfriends are complete asshats at times. Guys, is it that hard to be just a bit sensitive even if you aren't the one who broke up? Help me out boys. Restore some of my lost faith in men. Thanks much.

Most Random of the Day

I was standing outside SoHo today waiting for my friend Ron to finish his cigarette (I know. I wish he'd stop too) when I felt something hit the side of my foot. I looked down and saw an apple core. This thing was brown people. It hadn't just been finished and discarded. Oh, and there was no one within 20 feet of us.  The sky is raining down used fruit - watch out.

Hillies Are Lame For The Most Part

But I don't spend my entire life hating them. Just saying. Which, in essence, is why the date last week with D will be the last with him. I'm a naturally happy person. I enjoy life and take pretty full advantage of what it has to offer. If there is something in my life that I don't like, I try my best to rid myself of it or figure out how to deal with it until I can. He was too cynical for my taste. Really good looking, funny, smart but man does he hate him some people and things about life. He wasn't a morose, unhappy person. It is hard to explain. It isn't two hours of my life I can never get back, but it is definitely two hours of my life I won't be giving again. Make sense?

Oh - hillies are hill staffers. Much like the ones being mocked in the link above mocking the Washington Post article on "wing men". Enjoy.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

First Trimester Rule

I think the FTR should apply to multiple situations, not just pregnancy. Take dating, for instance. I am going on a first date tonight. I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous. What if I'm not as fetching as I am in my emails? Worse yet, what if he isn't? Or what if all this time I've been thinking he gets my sense of humor, he has been taking me seriously and we're both in for a rude awakening tonight? Moving on before I freak myself out and getting back to my original point. A couple people have been asking me questions about this evening's date (which was set up last minute given the postponement of my evening's original plans) and I've been very hesitant to talk about it. I don't want to jinx it. I don't want to get too excited about the boy and have him turn into a dud like all the others...no offense if any of you others should happen to be reading this. You're all great people, just not for me, yadda, yadda, yadda. I may have to institute FTR here. Unless of course the date goes incredibly well tonight in which case I probably won't be able to wait to write about it. We shall see.

In other news, we are narrowing down the suspects in our office that could be Wonkette's blind item. Stay tuned.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

In The Immortal Words of Shaggy....It Wasn't Me

From Wonkette (the Page Six of DC):

BLIND ITEM: Now That’s Dedication to One’s Work
From the inbox:

So, what lobbyist for a distillers association last night celebrated her birthday on Capitol Hill by throwing up on someone’s tuxedo jacket (not to mention all over the floor)?

OK, that’s the item. I don’t know her name, but she works for the distillers association. BTW, it was my jacket. We are always happy to help further random personal grudges. If they’re funny.

(BTW — we don’t actually care who it was. And we do so love the alcohol lobby.)

Evidence in my favor:
1. My birthday is in August.
2. I am not technically a lobbyist.
3. I was home last night.
4. I wouldn't be caught dead on the Hill. Especially on my birthday.

We have spent the good part of the last hour trying to figure out who this could be.

Memorial Day Weekend

Going into this weekend I had a modest amount of plans in place. They all happened with a couple extra jaunts thrown in for good measure. Here we go....

Thursday a couple of us from work "had" to go to a couple bars to do some bartender research. That was fun. XM met us out since we hadn't seen each other in a couple weeks and turns out the boy misses me when I'm not around. That's sweet. It's unfortunate I don't necessarily feel the same way. I got home around 9 and went straight to bed.

Friday was a long day at work until we got to leave at 4 and my boss actually let us which is nice. I went home, took a nap and woke up just in time for XM to come over with yummy Indian food. We watched some Scrubs since I needed some mindless entertainment to make me laugh the stress away from the week (the 2 bottles of wine probably helped with that as well).

Saturday was the Nats game with Jim. I was looking forward to seeing the Nats beat the Dodgers (you know, that LA team that actually plays in LA) but unfortunately it wasn't meant to be. After a couple hours in the sun, sucking down water and a soda, we took our sweaty selves to the Metro and then our respective homes to clean up for our evening activities. Every Memorial Day (I use the term 'every' loosely given that this was only the second time we've done this) we make an annual pilgrimage to Red Robin for the best. steak. fries. ever. We had a great time catching up on his dating and work life. We headed to his apartment to watch Broken Flowers, but really he just wanted me to sew a couple buttons onto a pair of shorts he wants to wear on an upcoming date. Being the good friend I am, I did. We got through about 20 minutes of the movie before we decided to not finish it. I was tired and could barely see the screen, he had fallen asleep twice. He drove me home around 10 where I received the aforementioned call from R professing his feelings for me. Some choice lines from the conversation include "Here I am in beautiful f'ing Tuscany, surrounded by beautiful Italian women and all I can think of is you" (what woman wouldn't fall for that line?) and "Of all the women I've had in my life, I can't think of any that challenge me like you do. You have some kind of hold on me.". Just for the record - we've never dated. Ever. I meet him and his cronies out from time to time for drinks and that is it. Nothing untoward has happened with this man who is now all over me. As Elaine said in the Seinfeld ep I saw last night "I cannot be that desirable." I'm focusing on the humor of the situation. Oh, and he's called every night since then to say good night and invite me to spend the next two weeks in Tuscany. Sweet, sweet man.

Sunday I ended up going to another Nats game with XM and his friend who I really think he should date (if that isn't the kiss of death to someone you are dating, what is really?). They bantered quite cutely and really seemed to get along. Anyways, the game was way better than Saturday's - the Nats destroyed the Dodgers. Yay. Sunday evening I headed over to a bbq at Heather & Gary's. Katie and I were fed and entertained by the newlyweds (not to mention the Magic Bullet pisco sours) and then the four of us headed to the Black Cat for the Prince v. Outkast dance party. It probably would have been way more fun if the four of us weren't so tired and hot. We stayed for a couple hours and then headed our separate ways home.

Monday was oppressively hot and since I'd spent the last two days languishing in the sun, I decided to give my not-quite-tan skin a break and did stuff around the house. I got out a bit, ran some errands, and then took a nap (scandalous!) and cleaned my apartment. It was a really calm, quiet day. Perfect ending to the weekend.

Turns Out It Doesn't Snow In May

I am so beyond bummed. I've been looking forward to seeing Snow Patrol for a good couple of weeks now. I was fortunate enough to have seen them last year before anyone really knew who they were (thanks to the boy I was dating) and got hooked. I managed to get tickets to their sold out show at the 9:30 Club tomorrow night which made me beyond happy. Until this morning when I went to the 9:30 website and found out the show has been postponed. Erg. Normally I would ask something along the lines of "why does God hate me" right about now, but if this is the major problem I am having I consider myself lucky. With my luck, the show will be postponed to the week I'm in Brazil and I won't be able to complain about missing it. Ha.

"You Just Bought Yourself Another Saturday"

If only that were true. Paul Gleason passed away Saturday. He was the principal who raided Barry Manilow's wardrobe in The Breakfast Club. Sure, he was in other movies but he will always be Dick, excuse me, Rich to me.

"Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns."

Saturday, May 27, 2006

What The Hell Is Going On?

Twice this week men I have known for two + years have professed strong "I've never felt this way about anyone. You are always on my mind. I can't stop thinking about what we could have had if only we'd give it a shot." feelings.

These are both great guys that I have also had feelings for, but never really let myself explore them or even acknowledge them because they acted as though they were not anywhere near serious about me, nor would they ever be.

At this point nothing more can shock me in this regard. It has all been quite flattering, but really...24 was doing it for purely selfish reasons (full story later) and what R's motives could be remain to be seen since he wants to start really dating once he gets back from Tuscany which is where he just called me from - the balcony off his suite in a Tuscan villa.

Seriously, if someone calls out of the blue and tells me he can't quit me I may go insane.

Friday, May 26, 2006

A Rant From A Friend

This email made my night last night. Too funny....

"Parrotards just peg my chucklehead-meter, but you knew that already. It's not Mr. Buffett's music that infuriates me so much as what it represents -- not to mention, I find the man's hypocrisy just appalling. Mr. Buffett is a shrewd businessman who labors hard and makes bakery trucks full of dough by selling a carefree lifestyle of sloth and addiction to unsophisticated working-class rubes who have no idea that they're being hustled. 'Here,' says Jimmy, 'use the money from Dakota and Kayleigh's college fund to buy into my lifestyle; don't mind me getting rich -- you'll scrape by installing cable boxes.'

"And don't even get me started on chucklehead Clyde’s patrons who bleat out "I've Got Friends in Low Places” at the end of the night as if they were world-weary rural sorts drinking away their woes in some isolated watering hole. Yes: your pals on the Hill and at Covington & Burling are indeed in low places. Have another Ketel One appletini."

Song of the Day So Far

Decent Days and Nights - The Futureheads

For some reason I find myself thinking of soccer hooligans when I hear this song.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Blast From The Past

I was going back through my im history with my dear lovely friend Randy and came across this gem of a conversation we had in Feb '05. Enjoy while not passing judgment :)

[15:44] planb1973: so Secret Agent Man wants to meet tonight for drinks.....
[15:46] Randy: SAM?
[15:46] Randy: now which is he again?
[15:46] planb1973: 6'5" - first guy out of the 3 I slept with
[15:46] planb1973: so he kinda has dibs right?
[15:46] planb1973: lol
[15:47] Randy: lol
[15:47] Randy: sounds like he already got your dibs

Wait...this one may actually be better....

[15:59] Randy: and he gets the most face time with you
[15:59] planb1973: You are so good to me
[15:59] planb1973: True
[15:59] Randy: er, whatever body part he's speaking to

And the capper.....if only I listened to myself....

[10:31] planb1973: So SAM was really fun and great and feisty last night
[10:32] planb1973: and I found out he had a gun in an ankle holster on our first date
[10:32] planb1973: so hot....
[10:32] Randy: omg
[10:32] Randy: yeah that's hot as hell
[10:32] planb1973: Vince Vaughn packing heat. mmmmm.....
[10:32] planb1973: and he has a scar.....

Oh iTunes, How Do You Do It?

Relevant lyrics I heard on my way in today after a very surprisingly emotional eventful last night:

1. Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts - Arctic Monkeys
"They got engaged, there's no intention of a wedding"
"I said I wasn't sad to see her go, I was only pretending you know"

2. Inside Out - Eve 6
"Want to put my tender heart in a blender, watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion. Rendezvous, then I'm through with you."
"SoCal is where my mind states, but it's not my state of mind"

3. A Good Idea - Sugar
"The air was thick with the smell of temptation"
"Some things are best left alone"

4. Just a Ride - Jem
"Life, it's ever so strange, it's so full of change, think that you've worked it out. Then BANG! Right out of the blue, something happens to you to throw you off course."
"Truth, we don't wanna hear. It's too much to take. Don't like to feel out of control."

5. Our Finest Year - Better Than Ezra
"I am hopeful, full of doubt, And I am trying to work this whole thing out."

6. Center of Attention - Guster
"One of us won’t last the night. Between you and me it’s no surprise. And there’s two of us, both can’t be right. Neither will move till it’s over."

7. Pretty Girl (the way) - Sugarcult
"Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything. Pretty soon she'll figure out you can never get him out of your head."
"It's the way that he makes you feel. It's the way that he kisses you. It's the way that he makes you fall in love."

I can't tell the story of last night right now. Still too fresh and confusing. I will catch up with everything else today though and maybe by the time that is all done I'll be able to write about last night. Sheesh. I'm making it sound so dramatic. I'm sure it will turn into not a big deal. I just got some news last night from an old I guess you call him a friend that I hadn't seen or spoken with for about two years. Completely knocked me on my ass. Not the reaction either of us expected. Ugh.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Quote of the Chili Cookoff

"You are what you eat" to the white guy eating crackers.