Buses and the City Girl

I took the bus to RFK Stadium three times in seven days. Two were completely uneventful but the third (actually second in the timeline) had enough crazy for all the busrides I'll take for the rest of my life. I've attached a diagram so as to make the storytelling easier.

Tuesday I was on vacation and ended up meeting everyone at the game. I didn't have a set plan on how I was going to get to the game since I was leaving from home. I figured I would take whatever bus came first. I ran into Christine who was walking home, we stopped and chatted and while we were doing that the 53 came by so I hopped on that, asked for a transfer and took it to the D6 which goes right to the stadium. Other than being late for the game, no drama.

Last night Agie and I left from the office and decided to catch the D6 which stops catty corner from our office. Again, no drama. More on last night in another post.

That leaves us with Friday night. I again was on vacation (I had more than the max number of days you can carry over so I needed to burn a couple) so Courtney and I met up at 15th and U to catch the 96 which goes straight to the stadium. Mistake #1. Never again my friends. I don't know what maelstrom of insanity we got caught in but wow. Our ride started out peaceful enough. We sat in the front of the bus and she filled me in on the happenings I had missed out on in the office and what was going on with a couple former co-workers. A few stops later a number of people were going to get on the bus, among them some elderly ladies, so I suggested we move to the back of the bus so that they wouldn't have to maneuver through the bus and up the few stairs to get a seat. Mistake #2. We sit down and resume our chatting and among the people getting on the bus are three guys who shall henceforth be known as 'Cosby Sweater Guy' (due to the 3/4 length Cosbyesque sweater he had on - odd fashion choice given the shorts and black high tops he chose to pair it with, moving on), '40 Man' (he had a 40 of some type of malt beverage in his paper bag) and 'Gin Guy' (who had a fifth of gin in his paper bag, and it wasn't his first judging by the smell of him). Gin Guy strikes up a conversation with 40 Man about booze and Courtney and I just kinda giggled. At some point a couple got on, Big Mama and Detroit Hat Man and sat in front of the stairs. They would have completely escaped our notice considering we were being amused by Gin Guy alternately passing out and talking to himself except for their argument which escalated from a simple disagreement to a full-blown, slaps flying fight in minutes. It was bad people. Sample things we couldn't help but overhear - all from Detroit Hat Man:

"I love you. I say these things because I love you so much. You're stupid."
"When we get off this bus, I'll show you what I'll do to you. You won't be able to walk"
"I'm drunk and you're high. We should talk about this later."
"Revenge is sweet like p***y." (Sorry, just can't bring myself to even type that word)

At one point he was standing in the aisle yelling at her. He never laid a hand on her. All his abuse was vocal. She, on the other hand, got in quite a few good slaps including one where she grabbed his face and slammed his head into the window. Good times.

Sometime during this altercation 40 Man got off the bus and a nice little lady took his place. Gin Guy perked right up and came over to stand above her, essentially trapping this poor woman in the corner. Despite his best efforts to make a connection with her ("I'm from Africa and I came here to meet women" her reply "Well, you should have gotten off at Union Station. There are plenty there.") she repeatedly let him know that she did not want to have anything to do with him and that she was not available (she's engaged). Two young guys got on and sat between them and that seemed to quell his interest in anything but his empty gin bottle (he had finished it about 10 minutes after he got on the bus). Somewhere in Eastern Market he asked if there were more buses behind the one we were on. We all said yes to get him the hell away from us (enough drama with the fighting couple) and he exited the bus. I looked back and saw him open the gate to someone's yard and go in, presumably to hurl or nap. I didn't watch long enough to find out which option he went with. One down, two to go.

Two stops before the stadium, with Courtney cowering beside me (I continually asked her if she wanted to switch buses, take a cab, etc. to get away from the scary madness but she didn't want to leave the nice lady alone) the fighting couple got off the bus. As soon as they got off the bus they threw down their bags and she rushed him. She was not a small woman. He was not a large man. I turned to the three guys (two young and Cosby) and said "my money's on her - she can take him". They all agreed. The lady sitting by Courtney said "she's pregnant". We all gave the same opinion which was she was too big and jiggly to be pregnant. The woman said "No, she's pregnant. I know her.". Okay, um, if you know her how could you just watch that happen? Although, Big Mama could have taken the lady too so maybe she was wise to stay out of it. Detroit Hat Man ended up hugging Big Mama to him while she beat him around his head until she tired out and they just walked away from each other.

Upon entering the stadium, Courtney and I immediately got margaritas and tried to erase the horrors we had just endured. We watched most of the game and then headed to the concert where we encountered more odd people. Good times. Good times.