During kickball season we receive Ghost Man on Third which is our weekly newsletter for goings-on in the kickball world. Every week has a top ten and this week's was so great I had to share.
7. KICKBALL IN IRAQ ...
WAKA has launched a kickball division in Iraq -- the Fallujah Semper Fidelis Division. If you don't believe us, check out the following website for proof:
http://www.worldkickball.com/fallujahsemperfidelis/
News that the Marines in Fallujah would be playing kickball got us to wondering: How might kickball in the military be different from our flavor of kickball? We investigated. Here's what we discovered:
Top 10 Ways Kickball Is Different In the Military:
10. Four-woman rule means Honeycutt, Esposito, Carter, and Pyle sometimes have to "pull a Klinger."
9. Pitching rule exception made for squat-thrust technique.
8. "Boo!" replaced with "Drop and give me 50, maggot!"
7. Team leader Sgt. Slaughter gets total head rush when players refer to him as "captain."
6. Spit-shined equipment. (Head-ref has to be able to see his frikkin' reflection in that damn kickball before play can begin, you piece of crap!)
5. "Kicked in the privates" not what you think it means.
4. The Humvee Drivers -- when not AWOL -- always complaining about combat cleats ruining their pedicures.
3. Park Police not the only ones with weapons now, huh? Huh?! How do you like that?!
2. MP Week at Kelly's Iraqi Times always puts MPs in an awkward position.
And the No. 1 way that kickball is different in the military ...
1. No ghost enlisted men allowed.
All jokes aside, Ghost Man salutes our uniformed personnel overseas for their bravery and their perseverance, and we wish them a safe and swift return to U.S. soil.
God bless these shorts.
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*sigh* DC Kickball is so much better than Bethesda Kickball.
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