No Dumpy Butts in the U.S.

Say what you will about Tucker Carlson but the guy cracks me up. Click above to read his interview with Michael Feldenkrais, an attorney representing a former Playboy playmate who was deported recently.

Among the funny:
CARLSON: You‘re saying that because this girl has a cute butt, she should be a U.S. citizen?

CARLSON: Do you think—is there a porn shortage in this country, do you think? I mean, is there a lack of homegrown porn actresses? Is this a crisis?
FELDENKRAIS: I do not believe it‘s a crisis. There‘s definitely a lot of talent out there. And but that doesn‘t stop us from...
CARLSON: Why should we flood the market with cheap foreign imports, thereby forcing our own porn actresses out of work and oppressing their wages?

Ah Tucker, fighting for the good old US of A.

What?!?!?

I'm going to say something and I know I shouldn't but here goes. Drew Lachey is sexy. I know I know. I have recently sworn off men shorter than me (it isn't a completely superficial thing - I haven't ever cared but I was reminded how nice it is to kiss someone taller than me and I am determined to enjoy more kissing in my next relationship) but I find myself strangely attracted to him watching him dance.

Because You're Mine, I Walk the Line

Jim and I went to the movies Saturday night and saw Walk The Line. We've both gone back and forth between wanting to see it and not since it was released. So we bit the bullet and went - got there pretty early but were ultimately thankful because the theater was packed. Must have been the Golden Globe wins the weekend before. I would have really liked to see more explanation about the song "Ring of Fire". It was written by June at a pivotal point in her relationship with Johnny and I really think it should have been emphasized more than just a quick scence. The movie was good - I never forgot I was watching Reese Witherspoon though. I have a thing about actors portraying actual people and winning awards. To me it doesn't seem like acting so much as imitating something that has already been done. I equate it to winning a Grammy for a remake of a song. The actor doesn't have to create, rather they recreate something that has already existed.


Regardless, I'm glad we saw it. I'm one of those people that feel the need to see all the nominated films each year. I'll admit it is mostly because I like to feel justified at the outrage I feel when things happen like Gwyneth Paltrow winning over Cate Blanchett (still irritated over that one). I really just have Munich and Capote still to see so I'm in pretty good shape.

Sleep is Good, Katie is Great

The sleep thing went okay I guess. I didn't sleep well (shocker) but that may have been due to the 17 electrodes attached to me or the plastic tube in my nose or the wire taped to my chin or..... Regardless of why, I woke up about 6 or 7 times during the night.

Katie, seeing how high strung I was last night when she dropped me off, decided to pick me up in the morning. She is a superstar. It really helped me to know that someone would be there for me in the morning.

She is not a morning person at all so it was even more stellar of her to come get me that early. When she dropped me off this morning I had every intention of getting ready and going to work. I just couldn't. I was so exhausted I decided to use one of my 20 sick days. So I slept literally all day and it was awesome.

I'll get the results next week when I meet with my doctor. Hopefully they will show something that explains what has been going on.

Dun Dun Dun

So I'm here having been dropped off by Katie who managed to calm me down. I'm still a bit creeped out by the whole thing but feeling less apprehensive which is good.

I'm Not Getting Sleepy

I have my sleep study thing tonight and I gotta admit I'm getting a bit freaked out about it. Okay, freaked out may be an overstatement, apprehensive is a much better word. I have to get there at 9 tonight (Katie rocks for volunteering to drive me) and I am there until 6:30 tomorrow morning. I wish I hadn't read about what they're going to do - namely the small metal cup electrodes they will affix to my scalp. That doesn't sound anywhere near fun or comfortable. Another thing concerning me is this: what am I going to do from 9 until 11:30 when I usually go to sleep?

Walking home I had all these thoughts going through my mind and I really missed Paul for a minute. This is the kind of time when I would talk to him and just hearing his voice would make me calmer. But that is not an option and thinking that led me to realizing Paul probably wouldn't have been understanding. He would have teased or mocked me for being a bit fearful of this, which probably would have made me laugh, but isn't what I need right now. So I only missed him for a couple minutes, but that was enough to kinda bum me out.  Does he miss me ever? Does he wonder how I'm doing? Blah blah blah...

I can't wait for this to be done. Bright side -  maybe I will finish my book club book finally.

Crash

I finally watched this movie over the weekend. I've been hearing what a "life-changing" movie it is with only one dissenting opinion - Jim's. So I was really curious about this film. I hated it. I forced myself to sit through the entire thing even after the first 20 minutes made me want to run. Here is the problem I had with this movie. There may be more.

In general, films about social issues are either really good or really bad. Great directors and writers will lead you to a conclusion about the issue at hand without explicitly telling you what you should think. When you are told what to think, then the director and writer have thrown objectivity out the window and started lecturing about their own moralistic agenda. A good director/writer will make a film about racism impartially and the viewer will draw his own conclusion. Hopefully that it is bad and the result of ignorance and hatred, but that is me lecturing. Regardless, the audience seeing this type of film is usually predisposed to that point of view.

In the case of Crash, Paul Haggis doesn't trust either the viewer's intelligence or his own abilities, so he compiles a series of bigoted, nasty people of different races all hating on everyone not like them to make sure he has convinced you of just how bad things have become in America since 9/11. The characters are so over the top and overblown in their hatred of stereotypes (all the while voicing their own stereotypes)that the movie becomes a satire of itself. Unfortunately, this satire is completely unintended and it makes a really bad film.

Cure v. Smiths

Friday night I went to the Black Cat for a Cure v. Smiths dance off. Quite possibly the most fun 5 hours of dancing in my life. Angie sent out the call for someone to go with and I couldn't resist. I like The Cure, love The Smiths and a night of dancing and good music with a guaranteed good time (Angie - no not like that, she's married and a girl she is just one of those peeps that has fun in any situation and it is contagious) sounded like just what I needed after a long week.

It was so much fun! After a number of beers we began talking to everyone (the place was packed) finding out two things. 1. Which is your fav - Cure or Smiths? And 2. Do you feel as old as we do?

The Rest of Last Weekend

Sunday I cleaned house and did a bunch of laundry until I got antsy at the thought of being cooped up inside so I decided to go see a movie. I got to the theater and the only one beginning around the right time was Rumour Has It. I've heard nothing but scathing reviews but there is nothing like a light romantic comedy on a Sunday afternoon so in I went.

It was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting. Granted it was nowhere near good, but what do you expect from this type of movie?

That night I met up with Ryan again (after Agie dropped me off I met him and some friends out for a drink Sat) and we hung out for a bit. He's a fun guy and it's nice to hang with him again. We watched 24 - so so happy it is back.

Monday was a 7 1/2 hour brunch at Katie's, then more 24 and the Golden Globes. Good times.

Songs of the Day

Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner - Fall Out Boy
Sound of Settling - Death Cab For Cutie
Forever Lost - The Magic Numbers

Cutest Thing Ever

Tai Shan is up and moving around. Unfortunately, he was sleeping when we went to see him this morning. He was super cute though - curled up in a little black tub, kicking his legs every now and then. We can't figure out why he is the cutest thing we've ever seen, but we don't care. He is our source for stress relief.

Get Some Zzzzs

So my bloodwork was "a okay" according to my doc which means I have to go in for a sleep study to figure out why I'm not feeling rested after a full night's sleep. It isn't every day I feel like this, but it is enough that something needs to be done.

What I don't get is this: how are you supposed to sleep normally when you are in a small, strange bed, away from home, around a bunch of strangers in a clinical environment? I'll let you know how it goes.

Hey Bastards (barely audible)

Arrested Development

Fox will be airing a four episode finale on February 10th. Moment of silence please. Okay, good news - this has the potential to be the funniest two hours of television ever.

Did Someone Alert The Press?

Good God. It's like a memo went out or something. In the past week three guys have contacted me to see what was going on. All of them have pursued me in the past, only one suceeded. And before your smart asses make snarky remarks (wow I think highly of you) none of them know I have a blog, although if I'm not mistaken, all of them have made it on here at some time or another.

Song of the Day

"Fix You" - Coldplay: because I need to remember that I can't always.

Life Es Muy Bueno

Sauteed cajun spiced shrimp served over sticky white rice washed down with a Negra Modelo while watching football. Life does not get much better.

Men and Meat

Why is it that whenever men are put in charge of a menu it almost invariably contains multiple types of meat?

I went to Agie's house last night to enjoy some football, beer and company. She said her husband had been cooking since 6 am and that I didn't need to bring anything. Knowing them as I do, I didn't really eat anything during the day. Good thing too. They (and by they I refer to the boys) had smoked a turkey and grilled steak, chicken and ribs. That doesn't include the cheese tray and the veggie tray and the cookies and the well you get the idea.

One of the people there was a guy named Bully who works with Agie's husband.  He's a big guy with a sweet demeanor and a southern drawl. He just rescued a rot/shephard mix from the pound and as part of the effort to socialize her he brought her last night. Such a sweet dog and she is completely devoted to him. Only problem? Her name is Precious. We had good fun with that one for far too long.

It was great fun, sad the Pats lost but only because I picked them in my pool.

Free At Last

Friday night I escaped the office around 7 and went out with a friend for drinks to celebrate his birthday, although he paid for all the drinks. Not sure how that worked out.

We headed out to Stoney's for their last night but decided that we didn't really feel like dealing with the 100 people outside and God knows how many in. It was a beautiful night so we strolled down to the Post Pub, had a drink in the dark, smokey, oppressively hot bar and headed out to our next destination, Bobby Vans. Perfect bar. Not so loud you can't hear yourself think, well lit but not stark, glaring lighting, great service and a tv to watch the scores of games. We were there for quite awhile. Good times other than the email from my boss saying he might need me to come in Monday.

Hairapy

I always look forward to getting my hair done. My lady Marlene is a riot.  She and I always have a great time. Somehow she remembers everything that has been going on even though we only see each other once every three months or so.

She managed to surprise me today though. I sat down, she put my cape on (I realize I am 12 because I always hear in my head "dun dun dun dun!") And grabbed my left hand. She seemed surprised to only see my Claddaugh and no diamond. She was even more surprised when I got a tear in my eye and said we broke up Tuesday. I had to ask why she was so sure I was engaged. Her reply made me happy and sad at the same time. She said I have a glow about me today. Happy because it's good to know I am doing weel and am less stressed. Sad because it makes me wonder how long I've been unhappy and projecting that through my demeanor. Maybe that's why I've been getting more looks lately. I just figured I'm noticing them now because I'm not taken.

Interesting what you see when you let yourself open your eyes and look around.

Song of the Night

"You Wore Me Out" - Loveless. It's a song from way back in 2004, haunting melodies, melancholy but hopeful. Great song to listen to while stuck at work on a Friday night.

My 2006 Resolution

In the year 2006 I resolve to: Not strip for free anymore. Get your resolution here

I'm Blind, But So Is Angie

My friend Angie wanted to go out for drinks last night and really who am I to say no? We decided to meet up at Cap City near our offices around 6pm. I tend to get stuck late when I have plans so I told her I would try to be there at 6, but would be there no later than 6:15. She was done at 4:30 so I suggested she get there a bit earlier than 6 to stake out a spot at the bar which tends to get crowded.

I was lucky enough to escape from here and get to the bar just before 6. I did a quick walk by of the bar, didn't see Angie and parked myself at a tall table by the entrance so I could catch her as she came in. After a couple minutes I ordered a beer and kept an eye out for Angie while trying to avoid eye contact with the older businessmen standing at the table between me and the door. I was unsuccessful in both endeavors. Twenty minutes later I was starting to feel stood up and emailed our mutual friend Heather for Angie's cell number and then focused on my blackberry to keep the new guys at the table from striking up a conversation. The hello was enough. Ugh.

So I get hold of Angie at 6:50 and ask where she is, thinking she may be waiting for me at the other bar we discussed. Nope. She was on the other side of the bar, alone, and just as irritated with my "no show" as I was with hers. I wandered over to where she was sitting and we had a good laugh realizing that we had to have been completely clueless to have missed each other. I had walked up to the table right in front of her and not seen her, and I was about 6'2" in my heels last night and as anyone familiar with DC knows, the tallest woman, if not person, in the bar.

Once we stopped laughing at ourselves we had a great time laughing with each other. We had a fantastic time sharing stories and planning Heather's bachelorette party. It was a great evening of fun, one which I paid for this morning, but well worth it.

Time to Purge

It's restaurant week in DC. I love restaurant week - it is a great opportunity to try out places you've been hearing about but haven't had a chance to or just try something new you wouldn't otherwise. For lunch today, we went to Acadiana which is a new upscale cajun style restaurant. Absoulutely fantastic food, but way too much. I need to roll myself to the gym immediately.

Song of the Day

"Aside" by The Weakerthans. Great song. Has a nice beat and can dance to it - Tam you should love it.

Doctor Doctor

Once again I awoke with no problems. I'm really liking this week much better than when it started. Granted, I'm going to be dragging this afternoon I am sure, but for now I am chipper and awake. I went out for drinks last night with an old aquaintance and I am happy to report that despite his best efforts (and they have always been good), I passed on his offer of comfort and went home alone and happy after an evening of fun. Probably not the smartest move on my part (the going out, not the turning down) because I had a physical this morning at 7:30. Luckily I only had two beers last night, fairly early and switched to tonic and lime after 9.

As I'm sure you're all dying to know, my blood pressure was "excellent" to quote the doc. Everything else looks normal, bloodwork will be back Monday but he's confident that will all be okay too. I may have to go for a sleep test since I have been getting unrestful sleep. He thinks I may have sleep apnea, which, while sucking, would explain a lot. And it isn't out of the realm of possibility - my grandfather had it and I'm pretty sure my mom does as well. Eh, not worth worrying about something that may not happen and that I can't change, at least not right now.

Sorry for the Confusion

Evidently posts that I sent Monday and Tuesday from my blackberry have shown up today. I'm sure you could have figured out something was wrong - obviously the end of my relationship is here, not impending and OBVIOUSLY I am not at happy hour with my friends at 8:30 am. I apologize for the lack of continuity. It shouldn't happen again. If it does, I'll give you $1.

Part two

He is pretty much thinking life has nothing for him now. He assures me he wouldn't actually kill himself - he would never do that to his parents. This makes me feel a bit better. So I talked with him(not knowing what the hell to say) for 1/2 an hour. I am the only person besides his parents that can calm him down - he is prone to panic attacks.

I couldn't get back to sleep after that. I've been checking on him regularly since. He seemed to be doing better until today when the unemployment office informed him that he owed almost $3,000 in overpayments. So he isn't eligible for any money for 12 weeks and then any money he gets is after deductions for the money he owes. Am I wrong being outraged?

I hate not being able to help someone I care deeply about. I hate that I can't go over to his house and sit with him, give him a hug and just be there for him. I hate feeling so helpless. I hate that he thinks so little of himself that he thinks the world wouldn't miss him terribly.

I Love My Friends

Out with friends at happy hour and they are cheering me up without even knowing it.

Part One

In addition to the possible impending end of my relationship, I've been dealing with an old friend's woes this week. I've known this guy for over 10 years - he's like a member of my family, has been to holidays, etc. even when I've not been there. He's the reason I was in a funk from 4 am on Saturday.

To be woken up by a phone call is one thing. To be woken up by a phone call and find a suicidal friend on the other end is another. Long story short, he has had a very rough few years. He got let go Friday and that was what pushed him over the edge. To be continued when I get home.

Last Night

Apart from the drama of "the Breakup", last night was really fun. A small group of us went for drinks with an old co-worker who is in town on break from grad school in Atlanta. It was so good to see him. I really miss him a lot around here most days. He was always cheerful and full of life and this place can sometimes suck that out of you.

In addition to hanging with C-biscuit, I got to meet my friend's new boyfriend. He is outstanding on first meet. Good guy, cute, personable and you can see that he really likes my friend. This is the first time he's dated someone somewhat seriously since I've known him (going on 2 years)and it is so good to see him happy. He's a great guy and better friend and makes me laugh whenever we get to spend time together. Plus, he introduced me to the Maker's Manhattan with extra cherries and for that I will be forever grateful :)

Shocking News All Around

Marion Barry tested positive for cocaine use in the fall. Saw it coming months ago when he was "teaching" that chemistry class, just sayin.

Angelina Jolie is pregnant - I'm about as surprised as when she and Brad Pitt hooked up.

Democrats are having problems with Alito. You don't say?

Let's Go Nationals!

On a happier note, I got the email today detailing our season seats for the 2006 baseball season. I am very excited, not only because I am getting two seats this year for 20 games, but because they are pretty much costing me what my one seat cost last year. Crazy! So glad baseball season is almost here.

Update

Let me preface this by saying I realize it is going to be one-sided, but that is the nature of the beast that is the blog.

So I am once again single. Paul and I broke up last night. I'm sad, of course, but this morning I woke up for the first time in I don't know how long and had no trouble getting out of bed. I really feel a big sense of relief. Don't get me wrong - I'm sad, I'm disappointed it didn't work out, I'm not looking forward to going through all of this dating crap again and I know there are going to be times I'm really going to miss him, there are going to be times when my first thought is going to be "wow, Paul would love this" but I'm going to be okay.

I think we've both known for awhile now that this needed to happen but for various reasons we've both put it off. We do like each other, we enjoy each other's company for the most part, but there has always been something missing. When you're with someone for as long as Paul and I were together, that person should be the one you go to with things that are bothering you, that person should be the one who comforts you and knows how to comfort you. He and I never had any of that. Plus, I'm fairly certain he never set up a PlanB playlist on his iPod and for someone as into music as he is, that is not a good sign. Yes, I had one for him, but it included songs I knew would be good breakup songs for us. Also not a good sign.

Looking back (you know what they say about hindsight, 20-20 and all) I can see that the times when I haven't blogged have been the times when I wasn't happy with the relationship. I never posted about our trip to California because it was a huge disappointment. Not just my dad being a wanker, but because Paul didn't enjoy it. He wasn't excited/interested in seeing places and meeting people that are very important to me. So I spent the entire trip trying to make sure he had a good time and as a result neither of us really did.

Don't get me wrong here. Paul is not solely at fault. I'm sure he will make someone very happy, just as I'm sure I will make someone very happy. It's just that we don't make each other very happy. He went into this not wanting a relationship and I went in wanting one. We're leaving with the same feelings. I hope he and I can be friends, it seems to be what he wants too. I actually think we'll be better friends than we were dating.

Seriously?!??!

I get in this morning to an email from my boss to my department saying he needs an answer about something that he has been asking about since before Christmas (I left out the gazillion explanation points). Just as I was about to reply that he actually commented on that very thing being on the contract I showed him last week, a coworker replied that it had been taken care of and she had told me to tell him. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Then I get an email from her just to me saying "Sorry, to put you in the hot seat but he is on a rampage today". Gee, thanks. Really. That makes getting thrown under the bus for not doing something I actually did okay. Awesome. My week just keeps getting better and better.

Damn BlackBerry

Two times it got me today. I wanted to track my thoughts somewhere I could look them over later and didn't mean to hit send. Unfortunately it is right above save as draft. Much like reply to all is right there by reply. Stupid sensitive click wheel.

I'm Weak

I realize I said I wouldn't be posting this week, but I can't stop raving about this movie. Brokeback Mountain really got to me on so many levels. Click above to read how not alone I am (especially you men who don't want to see it).

Blog Sabbatical

Hate to break a resolution this early in the year, but I won't be posting this week. Just wanted to give you a heads up that it is intentional.

Women Are Crazy & Men Are Stupid

My friend Katie is such a great person to talk to when I am upset or questioning things. She has this way of putting into words feelings I have that would remain an indecipherable mess without her insight.

She really makes me feel normal in times when I feel insane. Plus she makes me laugh.  Her words tonight:  "As a woman you can see you are being crazy and men can see they are being stupid and yet there is nothing you can do in that moment to change it. So we're all trapped in this crazy cycle and every now and then we have to get into arguments."

Once again I find myself thankful for my friends.

I Really Do Work in PR, Don't I?

Paul and I have decided to spend this week apart thinking about whether or not we want to continue our relationship. It was a mutual decision.

Dillema

Have you ever been in a situation where it is crystal clear what you should do but you just can't bring yourself to do it for whatever reason? I am there right now. I am caught between doing it right away or dragging it out to make it more fulfilling for me. I just don't know what I will do.....

Green Line Fun

There is something comical about watching a chubby, pasty white man in his late 20s - early 30s sit on the train speaking phrases into his phone such as "word up" in front of a group of black teens. Did I mention he looked like an uncooler Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons? It was just what I needed to start getting out of the funk I've been in since 4 am.  So here's to you CPWM. Thanks for the comedy intended or not.

Brokeback Mountain

Melissa, Agie and I saw Brokeback Mountain tonight. It was fantastic. I'm going to put it in my top 10. I can completely understand now why Heath Ledger is getting all the recognition and accolades. It isn't because Jake Gyllenhaal is bad, it's just that Heath is so freakin fantastic in this role.

Being the mature person that I am, I thought it would be a good idea to guess how many people would walk out once they realized it wasn't just any old Western. I guessed 3, Melissa 6 and Agie (always believing the good in people) said none. Make your own guesses. Answer will be at the end.

Turns out it was not nearly as explicit as we had been led to believe. The first scene between the two is a bit shocking but that is as graphic as it gets, it is quick and is not anything more than the heterosexual scenes in the movie. That said, I did find myself beyond disturbed by a part in the film. There were *shudder* rodeo clowns. I hope I'll be able to sleep.

The answer is 2. Same as Syriana.

Go Hoyas

Last night I went to the Georgetown Providence basketball game with Paul, Katie, her man Peter and Paul's friend Anna. It was a pretty good time. Paul spent most of the night talking with Anna which was good because I was not the best company. Plus it is always nice to see her. She is a very nice, interesting person. She is a quiet girl and I haven't quite figured out if it is because she is shy or because she doesn't like me but it doesn't really matter. She is a good friend to Paul and that is what's important.

Movies

Looking forward to seeing Brokeback Mountain tonight with Agie (our men have no interest in seeing it - go figure) and I realized I haven't spread the word on a couple good flicks I've seen the last month or so.

We got passes to see an advance screening of Memoirs of a Geisha a couple weeks ago. As one who really enjoyed the book forever ago when it first came out, I was very excited about the film. I don't think it let me down too much. It was very well done with great acting and beautiful scenery.

Last week (maybe longer - right before Christmas) Jim and I went to see Syriana. I really enjoyed it and so did Jim. Pretty much the Traffic of oil. Katie gave it a hearty rec last night. Considering she's worked in the Middle East, DC, and Switzerland, it's a pretty good endorsement.

Oh Katie

You may think this is going to be about the impending (or so they tease) demise of TomKat aka the relationship that made Tom Cruise look even more insane and ruined Katie Holmes forever, but you would be wrong.

I just turned on the Today Show and saw something that gave me hope this will be a good day. Katie Couric is wearing a puffy shirt. I'll admit, I'm not sure why it delights me so, but it does and with the way I've been feeling all week I'll take what I can get.

Reason 8 Sports On East Siiide Sucks

Look at the posting time and know it is still the 4th quarter of the Rose Bowl. I shouldn't complain. At least it isn't triple overtime like PSU last night.

Football and Patriots

Why is that every football game has to showcase the military either in the pregame or halftime show? We get the point. You aren't a real American if you don't love football and soldiers. I never thought I'd say this but go USC. I am going to go now and watch for my drunk friend Mark who is a lucky enough bastard to be at the game.

About 60% of What You Say Is Crap

Dave v. Bill O'Reilly. Pure gold. I love Dave Letterman even more now. Thanks Randy!

Scrub In

5 minutes into the season premiere and it is already good. I will miss the Bluths but at least I'll have Zach Braff to hold me while I cry. A small comfort but I'll take it.

Arrested Development

Any fan of the show knows the episodes get better everytime you watch them due in part to the jokes you missed the first time around which usually involve running jokes like "Operation Hot Mother". For this, Fox has a link on the website for "In Case You Missed It". Click above, then find the link in the upper right.

Some faves:

• At Tantamount Studios, Maeby is reading a script titled Operation: Hot Mother.
• The letter says the S.A.D. (Sons and Dads Reunion) center is located “at the corner of Hyde and No. Hope” streets.
• The banner at the sendoff party Lucille is throwing for Buster reads, “You’re killing me, Buster”.
• While driving and telling Michael that Buster lost his hand in an accident, Lucille clips a wooden figure that asks residents to “Buckle up”…and clips off his hand.
• Buster’s medication includes the instructions, “Take three by mouth daily for hand pain (Phantom).”

Test

I may have just discovered a way to keep my resolution to update my blog. Oh and a good reason to embrace the blackberry. Word of warning though - this may increase typos.

Ahoy Maties

Click above for an outstanding trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean 2.

Life Has Changed As I Know It

Our IT guy just installed my blackberry. My plan is to not tell my boss it is up and working until he asks me the status again. We shall see.

Quote of the Day

To Agie from me: "I like your husband better than my boyfriend".

Don't worry Paul. It's only because he makes her hot toddys when she's sick.

Appropriate/Inappropriate - You Make The Call

Stephanie just came by with a donut from Steve's our little sandwich shop downstairs. Agie and I didn't realize Steve's has donuts and expressed our surprise. What can I say? It's a slow morning here. My boss then decided to poke my stomach and say "No more donuts for you". I probably would have been offended if my stomach wasn't getting flatter and more toned from all the running I've been doing the last month (training for a 1/2 marathon - yes, I know I'm insane but I have lost almost 10 pounds). So I poked his and said "Oh, no - more like no donuts for you". Jerk. That last part was just in my head.

New York State of Mind

I really should not be allowed to interact with people when I am this run down. Yesterday I awoke to the sound of my alarm going off at 5:30 am. I pretty much didn't stop going until I got back home at 1 am. We threw an event in New York last night and decided since our entire department was going to be up there we should have our committee meeting that morning. So my boss hopped on a plane Sunday evening and stayed overnight while the rest of us caught a shuttle flight at 8 am which meant I had to leave my house by 6:15 am. We got to New York about 1/2 an hour before the meeting started and after conferring with a coworker decided it would be best if two of us ran some errands while the meeting was going on so that things would go smoother for the evening. Luckily our errands were pretty much shopping so among other things, we had to go to Tiffany's. We spent a couple hours shopping, grabbed a slice for lunch, saw the tree at Rockefeller Center, waved to Katie Couric and made it back in time to head over to the venue to set up for our evening event.

We had about four hours to set up and we used every single minute available. Then 2 and 1/2 hours of the event, being charming, smiling prettily, standing in heels that I'd been wearing all day. The event was an outstanding success, great media attendance, member companies were happy, etc. We whisked off to the airport a bit after 9 to catch our 10:40 flight and landed back in DC just after midnight in the snow. I crawled into bed at 1 am only to awaken a short time later to my alarm.

I am exhausted and want nothing more than to crawl into my bed and sleep until tomorrow. My boss is coming into the office sometime after 3 (Why God? Why?) so I know it's going to be a hectic three or so hours until he has to leave for an event tonight. I am not looking forward to working with a well-rested individual who even at my best and most well-rested grates my nerves at times. So when I asked Paul if he had plans for this weekend and we got into the whole "you ask this every week why don't you just say hey I want to do this how does that sound" bit I got irritated with him and snapped a bit because really all I wanted to know was if he had to work either day.

I feel bad that I took out my frustration and tiredness out on him. He doesn't deserve my crankiness. I was just telling Jim last night how great Paul has been these last couple weeks since he got back from Thanksgiving in NC. It's not that he wasn't nice to me or didn't treat me well before, but something just seems different and it's been really, really great. So now I have to suck it up and apologize for being Crabby McCrabbs-a-lot. Dammit.

Grace? You Think I Have Grace?

Years ago a couple of us were watching a new Seinfeld episode. It was the one where Elaine is interviewing at the publishing house Jackie Kennedy worked at and at one point in the interview the guy mentions he thinks she has grace. Her delivery of the above line was priceless and became a catch phrase between me and my then boyfriend and his roommate after they told me I reminded them of Elaine. I've used it many times over the years as I'm often told I'm graceful. Some get the reference, some do not. Imagine my lack of surprise when I discovered today that I was born on a Tuesday.

Monday's child is fair of face
Tuesday's child is full of grace
Wednesday's child is full of woe
Thursday's child has far to go
Friday's child is loving and giving
Saturday's child works hard for a living
But the child that is born on the Sabbath day is fair and wise, good and gay.

Quotes From Today

I told Agie I said nice things about her on my blog. Her response: "What'd you type? That cranky bitch better get some sleep soon?". Guess I'm not the only one not sleeping.

Asked my friend how things are going with his boy. Talk turned to my boy. Conversation went as follows:
R: i saw where you were grumpy lately
R: and your man rescued you on his biek
R: bike
planb: He can be pretty wonderful sometimes.
R: maybe boys aren't as bad as we thought
planb: maybe :)

I went out pretty big last night drunk dialing Paul late into the evening. I mentioned to him that my head is hurting and it is a hundred degrees in my office. His response: "I amoverwhelemd with sympthy". I detected a bit of sarcasm and let him know what his Christmas present is going to be. A space bar.

Things To Be Thankful For

1. Family - Even though my dad didn't come through with a visit while Paul and I were in California (story to come - still mad and hurt) I can't tell you how great my family is. We have never been a super tight-knit family, even less now that my grandparents have passed and a number of us have moved out of California but man they will be there for you if you need them. I really feel sometimes as though I don't deserve them. Today I found out my youngest cousin is shipping out Sunday to serve in Iraq for a year. I will pray every day that he returns unharmed. He is such an amazing guy and only 18. Okay, next - I'm tearing up here.

2. Friends - I have said this many times and I hope I will continue to say it: my friends are the greatest group of people you will ever be lucky enough to meet. Case in point: I had gotten to the point where I was okay with being alone on Thanksgiving. Paul was with his family, I was originally supposed to go to Cairo with friends but didn't and the friends who weren't in Cairo all went home. Except for Agie, who upon hearing I was planning on roasting a chicken and making a Thanksgiving dinner for one (wow that sounds so sad and pathetic now) decided to drag me along with her and her husband to his coworker's house for dinner. It turned out to be a really nice time. The boys did all the cooking. Three, count them, three turkeys were made. One baked, one fried and one smoked and they were all delicious. And thankfully spaced out over the evening due to *ahem* "fortuitous" planning and various cooking times. All in all a very good meal.

3. Paul - Go ahead and get the schmaltzy "ahhh" out of the way. We good? Allright. I had a lot of time to let my mind wander this past week and one of the things I did was reread some of my old posts and im conversations Paul and I had when we first started dating. It reminded me of how much fun I have with him and how easy and comfortable it is to be with him. I will be the first to say it hasn't been all flowers and sunshine but no real relationship ever is. I would be bored silly in a week if that were the case. I digress. My point here is that I realized (not for the first time and I'm sure not for the last) that for all the times the man drives me absolutely batty, his good qualities far outweigh the bad and honestly some of those things that make me crazy are the very things that make me like him. I know, I know. It makes my head hurt too.

I Am Such A Brat Sometimes

Paul got home Sunday night from being away a bit over a week. I'm pretty sure it's the longest we've gone without seeing each other and it was kinda tough. I really missed the guy. We talked pretty much once a day, texted a lot but it was no fun. I was busy with work and social stuff for a lot of the time so I wasn't mopey or anything, but I was really excited about seeing him Sunday night. I hadn't been sleeping well (see below) and didn't really eat anything that day (hypoglycemia kicked in) so when the first thing he said to me was "can you put lotion on my back?" instead of a hug, kiss, big smile and something along the lines of "it's really good to see you, I missed you" I was a bit grumpy. I tried my almost best to not make a big deal out of it because I was really happy to see him and I knew how badly his back had been itching all day, but I failed. He was good and snapped me out of it without making a fuss (reason 753 why I like him) and we had a great night hanging out.

Unfortunately every morning starting from the Saturday he left to yesterday, I woke up around 4 am and could not go back to sleep. This was just a minor annoyance for most of the time he was gone since I was off work, but man did it suck yesterday morning. From 4 am to 7 am I was stuck on my back or side trying not to move too much since Paul hadn't slept well while he was gone (sucky bed at his dad's). I was miserable. So when Paul got up and was being all cutsey and playful after telling me he wouldn't go 5 minutes out of his way to walk me to the metro it annoyed me (see prior mention of week of sleep deprivation) and I finally just kissed him and said "I'm leaving" and walked out. I was kicking myself while walking (difficult, very very difficult - do not attempt at home unless under the supervision of a trained professional) when who should appear on his bike? My wonderful boyfriend of course. What? You were expecting Aquaman? Please, everyone knows he rides a seahorse. He rolled up to my trying not to smile face, kissed me and said "hey grumpy" (reason 1257 why I like him). So the day was saved and I am once again reminded how lucky I am to have him around.

New Plan

Here's the new plan. I am going to update my blog with the most recent and current happenings and then slowly but surely fill in the gaps with my missing stories (I've been home and broken into [well, my apartment not me] and Thanksgiving and..... and no blog) so I do not fall even further behind. This whole catchup thing has kicked my ass.

Four Letters. Starts With "L"

A friend and I were talking about when and how to say ILY for the first time in a relationship. She is adamant that the female should wait for the male to say it. As a female, I can see her point. You don't want to say it too early and scare the guy off thinking he's dating some ticking child bomb who is just looking for a husband or an unstable thing who falls in love with every guy she sleeps with. On the other hand, I have been the recipient of a premature ILY and it scared the crap out of me and got me thinking that the guy was off his rocker (which, incidentally, turned out to be not true - I am just that lovable).

I think (as I believe the majority of the free world would) that it shouldn't be planned or thought out, but it should happen spontaneously when the feeling strikes you. Now granted, saying ILY for the first time is quite possibly one of the scariest things ever - not only are you apprehensive of the recipient not saying it back (or worse only saying it because you did, not because they mean it) but you are also scared that the recipient will say it back and I do believe that is scarier than the first option. If it is said back in earnest that means you two have broken down each other's walls, arrived at a point where you know each other better than most others (at least enough of the good and bad to know that nothing short of cheating, abuse or killing puppies in fields of dandelions for sport would change how you feel about them) and being that emotionally close to someone is scary, no matter how well-balanced you are mentally. It is one of the best feelings in the world though.

I have never gone into saying ILY with the expectation of hearing it back. I think it takes away the beauty and honesty of it if you go in with motives other than letting that person know what they mean to you. Some of the best ILYs have knocked both the giver and receiver off guard - said in the heat of an argument, during a laughing fit or worst of all, when you realize you are losing that person. I guess it really boils down to this. There are enough games played (both intentionally and unintentionally) in relationships without adding this to the mix. If you love someone, tell them. You never know when you won't get the chance.

Reason 532430 to Hate FOX

Argh. I am beyond upset. This news is worse than the Los Angeles Angels of Anahiem fiasco (seriously, The Angels Angels of Anaheim?). Arrested Development gets cancelled and Stacked does not?!?!?! I'm sorry. I don't understand. Perhaps you need to not be nominated for and win multiple Emmys to remain on the tv. Well, that would explain Paul Moyer.

In HIS Shoes

Among the many activities that have kept me from updating my blog was the Annual 17th Street High Heel Race a couple weeks back. My coworker Christine invited a few of us to her soon to be former apartment which overlooks 17th Street to watch the race. Here's the deal for those of you not in the know:

D.C.'s annual High Heel Race takes place each year on the Tuesday night before Halloween, allowing men to dress in short skirts and strap on their high heels while they prepare to sprint down 17th Street between P and Q streets. The race is in its 18th year.

Starting around 6 p.m. people gather to watch the drag queens parade down the street to show off their outfits. At 9 p.m. sharp, a pistol shot begins the race and the drag queens run a two-block dead sprint north towards Q Street. The racers who actually do the sprint finish in about 90 seconds.

Click above for a link to some pictures of the evening.

Mark, You Are So Excited!

"More Aquaman news: The WB will give Aquaman the Smallville treatment, but it won’t be a spinoff launched by the recent fish-boy cameo on that series. The new producers promise that the character “won’t be talking to fish or riding a seahorse,” which will basically reduce him to an above average swimmer who wears orange spandex to class. [Variety]"

Fear the Blog

I resolve to never let my blog get this outdated again. The daunting task of getting this thing up to date is near overwhelming. The more I get behind the more I avoid updating. Vicious circle. Ugh.

Tales of Concerts Part Three

Chris Isaak at the 9:30 Club. It was a spur of the moment decision to go. I emailed some of my friends to see if anyone was interested and Heather replied yes so we went. I am so glad we did. Not only did it afford us the opportunity to catch up (she'd been out of the country for a bit) but we also got to get up close and personal with Chris. He has a tendency to walk through the crowd at his live shows. Good strategy - it keeps this girl coming back for more. It was almost as fun when the accordian player (accordianist?) came through the crowd. He took a drink from someone's beer and a hit off a cigarette. The band is fantastic - same one from his show. They've been together 20 some years and it shows. They played everything from Roy Orbison to ranchero (Mexican polka, not the sauce). One bad thing about the show - and I never, ever thought I would say this - I hate tall people. I actually felt somewhat short. And before you ask, no I don't feel any sympathy for the small people.

Is Anyone Surprised?

Sulu is gay. Scooter will be indicted. Rove will not (as of today).

Tales of Concerts Part Two

Def Leppard and Bryan Adams at Nissan Pavilion. It was an interesting crowd to say the least. This outing was inspired by Paul's friend Jorge's love of DL. Melissa and I enjoy Bryan Adams and DL in a completely casual, hey the song is on the radio and we like to sing along with it kind of way. Chris and Paul went because we ladies were going. So when Paul over stressed how vital it was that I leave work early to get to his house when Jorge got there, I complied. Granted, I was a bit annoyed with how little thought Paul gave to the fact that I needed to leave an hour early from a job that rarely lets me do that, but I did it. So, I left work about 15 minutes later than planned and ended up taking a cab to Paul's because he had me so afraid of making Jorge miss part of this concert only to arrive at Paul's and wait for Jorge for a good 20 to 30 minutes. Needless to say I was not in a great mood at that point. All I needed to do was vent for 2 minutes and then I would have been fine, but Paul was not in a great mood either and when I started to say something he bit my head off and I backed away instead of creating more drama. Ugh. To add to this already bad situation, Paul thought Melissa was supposed to call when they were on the way to the concert. When it was about 20 minutes before the concert and she hadn't called, he finally listened to my suggestion that he call her. They were already there. Okay. So we get there, wait around and find them and miss about the entire Bryan Adams set. Paul and I went to get beer and food (neither of us had eaten which added to our surliness) and I tried to talk to him about it in totally the wrong way. "I think it's interesting that the one person you were making everyone stress out about being on time for is the one who made us all late". Yeah, not really the best approach I admit. So when Paul snapped at me in reply I oh so maturely walked away. I grew up and started acting like a big girl and said "Look, all I need is 10 minutes to be grumpy about this and for you to understand that I deserve that 10 minutes" and then everything was okay and we all enjoyed the show.

More Catch Up

1. Tales of Concerts Part One

Weezer and Foo Fighters at the GMU Patriot Center. Originally, Agie and I were going to take our men along with us to this show. Her husband wasn't able to go at one point, then Paul and I broke up for those two hours in NC and I offered the ticket to Katie, then Agie offered her extra to her friend Cindy who is a hoot and a half, then I thought Paul would still want to go so then Agie offered it to her husband, then Paul thought Katie was going, etc.... When all was said and done Agie, Cindy and I went and I had an extra ticket which really kinda sucked but was 99% my fault and I ended up selling it for $20 or so to a scalper.

The girls and I had the day off from work (Thank you Mr. Columbus for "discovering" our great nation) so we headed out early with the thought of grabbing some grub and tailgating in the lot before the show. We stopped and ate some delish bbq, parked at the Patriot Center and broke open the bottle of wine. Keep in mind Paul had warned me not to drink in the parking lot since it was on a campus. Bringing up my numerous drinking in parking lot experiences I pshawed him...maybe even laughed a bit. During the second bottle of wine, the girls and I were laughing and having a great time. Such a great time that none of us paid much attention to the mini-van that parked behind us perpendicular to Agie's car. Nor did we pay mind to the two people in black hooded sweatshirts that walked up to each side of the car. We each thought they were more of the stadium workers being dropped off. Yeah, no. The woman on Agie's side leaned into the window, slid her badge out from under her sweatshirt and said "I assume you all are of age, right?". Oh, the look of disappointment that crossed her face when we said yes. Our word was good enough for her, but not for the Beer Garden peeps inside.

One of the many drawbacks of seeing a show at the Patriot Center is the way they sell "adult beverages". They have these things called Beer Gardens which are fenced in areas that you go to to purchase and consume alcohol. There are only about 4 or 5 of these prisons in the entire arena. You aren't allowed to take any beverages out with you. Basically, if you want a beer during the show you have to miss the show. It gets better. You get carded by a person at a table in front of the BG. They stamp your hand and put a wristband on you. Then you walk five steps to the entrance where you are once again carded while your wristband is checked. Then you enter the BG (which again, is completely walled in) where upon placing your order YOU ARE CARDED AGAIN. Because the double carding, wristband, handstamping and walled enclosure aren't enough. Sigh.

Anyways, the show was fan-fricken-tastic. Weezer and Foo both sound great live so it was worth any hassle. Weezer played My Name is Jonas and Foo played The One. Two relatively unknown but favorite songs of mine. I like to think they knew I was there. And of course, Buddy Holly, Undone, and Everlong.

At A Loss For Words

Paul has been under a lot of stress lately and very busy picking up extra shifts at his part time job. This has made him a bit grumpy and forgetful (both understandable under the circumstances). It sucks having someone I care about unhappy, plus I don't get to see him as much as I'd like, but IMHO I am being very understanding and non-demanding. The one thing I really like is him calling before going to bed. I like to hear his voice before I fall asleep (which given recent events I don't think is unreasonable - more later) and given what little contact we do have during the day is through im or texting on our phones, one one minute call at the end of the day isn't too much to ask, right? Not hearing the voice of the person you are involved with for an entire day (sometimes more) has an odd effect. It tends to make you forget things like how just a simple interaction with that person makes you feel better about just about anything or how funny they can be or the reasons why you like them. So when I got this im from Paul this afternoon I busted out laughing and smiled, remembering why I like the guy so darn much.

"My day got so much better now that I have underwear".

It's No Aquagirl

But I guess I'll deal.

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Lion FlareYour Superpower is Extra-dimensionalYour Weakness is SnakesYour Weapon is Your Kinetic PitchforkYour Mode of Transportation is Dragon

What's" your Superhero Name?

Small Break

Okay, that should tide you over until Monday when I promise to continue getting up to speed. Things to look forward to:

1. Tales of concerts - Weezer, Foo Fighters, Chris Isaak and last but not least the double bill of Bryan Adams and Def Leppard. No, I'm not kidding.
2. Weekend in NC with Paul's dad.
3. Planning for trip home.
4. Work woes.
5. Wedding bells.

Boston Trip

I had such a great time in Boston. I flew up Thursday morning, got picked up by Paul, his dad (Mr. E) and nieces and then went to the hotel for a nap. Thursday evening we had the rehearsal dinner for Paul's cousin's wedding (hereafter known as S&P). It was nice, small and without a great amount of drama. We rode out with Paul's aunt and uncle with Mr. E following with Paul's brother's family (bro, wife, two daughters). Unfortunately, we got lost.....even with GPS. It was pretty funny to us, but I'm sure Mr. E was about to kill us.

Friday we went shopping at the mall to pick up some stuff (belt for Paul, sweaters for the ladies), had lunch and then went back to the hotel for a nap (hey - I was on vacation) and to get prettied up. I must say Paul and I clean up pretty damn well. About 1/2 an hour before the ceremony I got a text from Agie saying "I'm so sorry". I figured my boss was freaking out about something so I texted back "Why?". Little did I know what it really was.

Turns out a coworker of mine (the one in the office that I had the least amount of good feelings towards) was killed in a car accident in KY. Every year we do a media tour through KY and TN right after our big MV event and she was on it this year. Blind intersection, hill, fast truck. She was killed instantly thank God (for the instant part, not the dead part). Just awful. She was only 28. I pretty much felt like a chump having fun the rest of the weekend.

The wedding was at the family church where Paul's mother's family has all been married, baptized, funeraled (yes, I made that up just now - deal). After the ceremony we headed over to the reception which was at a restaurant on the water. Great view, good food and wine and most importantly, a bar adjacent to the reception room that was showing the Sox/Yankees game. Even with the DJ giving end of inning updates, most of the wedding party (including the groom) and the guests ended up in the bar at some point. We ended up catching a ride back to the hotel with Adam, the bride's brother, and his wife. I was done at that point so Paul put me to bed and went to get food and party with his aunt, uncle and cousin among others. Paul and Adam ran into a bunch of San Diego Chargers in the elevator, which I imagine can be a bit disconcerting when you are drunk.

Saturday was spent recuperating and watching more baseball. We rallied and headed into the city to meet up with my brother, sister-in-law and mother for dinner. After trudging (ahem, strolling) around Beacon Hill we finally got a table at a small Italian restaurant and had a pretty good dinner. It was great spending time with my family and Paul. I miss having fun and laughing with my brother.

Sunday we headed back home but of course no Paul and PlanB travel is complete without some sort of delay/trouble with transportation. Our flight was a bit late bording, then we were told once we had boarded that it would be about 1/2 an hour because one of the a/cs wasn't working. Then we were told to deplane because it was going to take an hour to fix. So Paul was chipper at this point. I hate when stuff like that happens, not because of the inconvenience (that is a pain, but it is manageable) but because Paul can get really, um, what's the word..... pissy. He tends to become very selfish in situations like that. He gets mad, complains and pretty much makes it so I can't be grumpy and mad because two of us like that would be awful. I usually try to make it not so bad, he usually foils my attempts and continues his grump. So it was a delightful trip home to say the least. And we didn't even have the worst of it - we were only three hours late getting back. Paul's brother's family didn't get home until after 1 am. Talk about a nightmare trip!

Stop Bothering Me

I realize I have been remiss over the past month. I am sorry. It has been completely crazy here. Let's go back to the start of it all. Mount Vernon. Ugh. Man that was a long, long week. On Friday the 23rd I ended up getting a root canal which I think y'all know about. Well, I worked that entire weekend out at MV and didn't have the opportunity to fill my prescription for antibiotics. Big trouble in little molar. It was bothering me so badly by Monday that I was sleeping maybe 3 hours total a night. So I went back to the dentist Monday morning where she prescribed Percoset and then rethought giving it to me when I said I would be going straight back to work. I talked her into it (I'm persuasive that way) and off I went. She warned me there would be some swelling the next day, but that the pain would be better. Wow was she right. I woke up Tuesday morning with a small country protruding from my lower right jaw. It was awful. I felt like a mongloid. Anyways, I called the dentist later that morning concerned that it was so swollen (I had a big event Wednesday and a wedding with Paul's family Friday) and he prescribed a stronger antibiotic and a steroid. I worked a good 12 hour day on Tuesday and woke up Wednesday with a smaller, but still swollen jaw. At this point I wasn't complaining because I actually got four hours of sleep in a row and the pain was almost gone. Wednesday I worked a 12 hour day on my feet (ankle seems to be pretty much better - YAY) with about 3 bites of a bad Subway sandwich fueling me and my jaw hurting again from talking so much during the day/evening events. So when my boss decided that 9 pm the night of my 10th day in a row working in pain with 3 hours sleep a night and virtually no food was a good time to chew me out for seating people at his table that he told me to seat at his table I was ready to quit. If I wasn't on vacation Thursday and Friday I probably would have. Ridiculous. Instead I walked away after he told me to sit down and have some food (he always hugs after he hits) and burst into tears when one of my coworkers asked what was wrong. Ugh - how unprofessional of me. Anyways, she took me home and I started my vacation hating my job and boss.

An Entertaining Read

A bit long, but highly entertaining. I do believe I have received some of these spam emails. Too funny. And yes, I do realize I need to do an update. Count on it today or tomorrow!

Victoria Has Been Bitch Slapped

They caved and changed their displays. Sigh.

Little Shop of Whores?

You gotta get more original than that lady. Let me start off by saying that under no circumstances should a 13 year old be shopping for a bra by herself, especially at Victoria's Secret. She will have no idea how to make sure it fits properly, nor will she know what style or color to buy. I realize these sound like simple things. Trust me when I say they are not. Also, no one who is the only one taking off their bra should be buying bras that expensive. So to the woman in the above article outraged at the new Victoria's Secret and wondering if this is the message we want to send to our children, I say "No. This is not what children should look like. Which is exactly why this display is not a Limited Too or Wet Seal. It is at a store for adults." People really need to get over themselves.

For Those of You With Standards

In anticipation of next week's World Standards Day, today is World Standards Day Happy Hour - the one day each year to officially celebrate all standards. Raise a pint and toast the fact that there is an actual international organization with the sole purpose of promoting standards around the world.

What Kind of Cheese Are You?

Cheese Test: What type of cheese are you?

Medical Evidence Proves I'm Special

And no, I don't mean short bus special. Man, my week keeps getting better. Turns out my tooth is cracked down to the jaw bone which is the reason anything being done to it is fine for a day or so and then starts to cause me indescribeable amounts of pain. So I had a root canal this afternoon. During the procedure I found out I have four canals instead of the usual three and they are 25 somethings long instead of the usual 23.

My Boyfriend Kicks Ass

So I'm having an awful day. I had a tooth fixed last week which was supposed to mark the end of my dental misadventures for the year. It started bothering me Tuesday, so I went in, they tinkered and told me to come back in 6 weeks. It was bothering me a bit and I hoped it would get better, but instead it has gotten to the point where I didn't sleep last night and even my tongue touching it makes a shooting pain go through my jaw. I called first thing this morning and was told my dentist wouldn't be in until Wednesday, which happens to be the day of our huge annual event. So, they got me in to see another dentist today. Hopefully it will take care of the problem. In addition to my tooth problems, I got to the Metro this morning and realized I had left my smartrip card at home. I didn't have anything close to a small bill in my wallet so I had to dig for change for a fare card. Plus, I've been stressed to the gills about next week. I've been on the verge of tears all morning (which usually doesn't happen, but no sleep plus pain plus unfortunate circumstances in time of high stress will do that to you).

So when I got a call from the front desk that I had a delivery I thought "what else?". The delivery turned out to be flowers with a note saying "Hope that your day gets better, Paul". He really is a great guy, not because he got me flowers, but because he took time to try to make me feel better. This is why he was worth a second chance. I am so glad I was able to give it to him.

My Name is Earl

I love Jason Lee. There, I said it. There is just something about him that I really adore. So when I heard he had a show premiering this season I was very excited. It's a good thing I like Mr. Lee not just for his boyish good looks otherwise this show would be a total wash. 70's CHiPS stache, check. Mullet with receeding hairline, check. T-shirt with sleeves cut off to show non-existent muscles, check. So I watched, nervously, hoping it wouldn't be some redneck comedy. Since moving to what is technically "the South" what little tolerance I had for that type of people has completely vanished due to people like the guy who had a tatoo on his arm of West Virginia filled in with the Confederate flag....viewing made possible by aforementioned t-shirt with sleeves cut off. Moving on. The show was great. See review above.

Romance Update

Real quick update on the Paul sitch. He and I have been spending a lot of time together the past few weeks and 95% of the time it has been great. There have been a few moments of angst, but they have all diffused relatively quickly and well. He's headed to Baltimore this weekend to hang out with the boys. I am a bit nervous about it, but trust him not to do anything that would hurt me or our relationship. I will be working at least all day Sunday, possibly Saturday as well and there is a possibility of hooking up (not in that way) with a former co-worker who may be in town Friday, so that should keep my mind off what he could be doing. Again, I trust him, but can't help the fleeting thoughts. I always had an overactive imagination. Damn my brilliant mind! Okay, it's probably statements like that that make Paul think I'm arrogant. Eh. Bygones.

One World Currency

After sitting with my boss for 40 minutes trying to make sense of his receipts from a trip that took him to two countries and used three currencies I have come to the conclusion that the world should have one currency. That's it. Just one. It would be so simple. It sure as hell would make my life easier and really, isn't that what it is all about? This idea is going up on the wall, right next to my Midwest Plan. If you know not of what I speak, you're totally missing out on gold.

Avast Me Hearties!

It is September 19th and you know what that means..... National Talk Like a Pirate Day. I really do believe my co-workers and I need to get out more given the level of excitement and amusement we are getting from this holiday. Any complainers? I'll make 'em walk the plank.

Foreign Affairs

The last two days have been very busy, stressful days here at work. It sucks. Especially because my boss is in Europe, arriving back in the office tomorrow. Monday, Tuesday and today were supposed to be kick back days. Yeah, not so much. I worked about 11.5 hours yesterday, all of them hectic.

Today I get in to find the following emails:
8:42 am "Hour delay in sofia. Unless delay too out of Frankfurt I'll never make connection. Check with airline/agent to find options. I should be on ground in 1 hour. I'll call. Have options ready. Tnx."
8:47 am "Business a must. Aisle too. See what they can come up with. "

Because that won't be difficult to do. Why on earth would you want to deal with the ticketing people in front of you who know what is going on? Instead, let's have someone in another country with limited to no access to flight information spend FOUR HOURS arranging your travel and hotel. Oh, and call and email every five minutes (no exaggeration) to get updates. And then, after having said person look up hotels in the bustling metropolis that is Sofia, Bulgaria and call five of them to hold rooms, go with the hotel that the airline suggests. He was lucky there were miles and an ocean in between us otherwise there would have been a world of hurt coming down on him. I felt for him, really I did. He'd spent close to 7 hours in a small, Eastern European airport. After hour three that went away and I wanted to inflict pain.

So now he will be back Friday, not tomorrow. I plan on having a leisurely day tomorrow. I will work hard, get my task list done, but I will do it at a calm pace. I don't get paid enough to stress like this.

Another Reason My State Rocks

Yes, I realize it's a Texas tycoon that donated the money, but I prefer to overlook that and focus entirely on where the animals end up.

Oh Quizno's - How You Deceive Me

Went across the street to Quizno's (they have a pickle bar) for some soup and a small salad (always trying to avoid scurvy this one, although the vat of orange juice I drank yesterday should hold me for a couple days). Now, I don't expect much from Quizno's. I generally go there if I don't have a lot of time or if the weather is poor because it is really, really close. Today it was a bit of the time, but mostly I am tired and wanted soup and didn't want to walk all the way to Au Bon Pain (you know I'm tired if 3 blocks is all the way). I sat at my desk, ate up my cup of soup (burnt my tongue - ow) and opened up my salad to find pure, cheap genius at work. A cursory glance at the greens shows a healthy mix of field greens; some purple cabbage, a little endive, spinach leaves, you get the idea. I went in thinking I was getting a good mixed green salad until I ate the two pieces of each of those to discover the rest of the container (about 80%) contained iceberg lettuce. No wonder it's only $2.50. Bravo Quizno's. Bravo.

I Choose to Blame the Cold Medicine

Completely forgot to give mad props (again, it's the cold medicine) to Katie for swinging by my apartment yesterday and dropping off OJ (the juice, not The Juice - she would never drop off a killer, um I mean "accused" killer) even after I bailed on going to the game yesterday. The liquid fruity goodness got me through the painful 9th inning of the Nats/Braves game. I shake my fist at you Chipper Jones!!!

Weekend Roundup

Going into this past weekend, I was excited about all the plans I had. Friday was the Jack Johnson concert with Agie, Saturday out with Paul and his friends (Cute Couple), Sunday game with Katie. By Saturday night I was exhausted and run down and by Sunday too sick to go to the game. I barely dragged myself in to the office this morning. If I didn't have two big projects to get done, I'd be home, drugged in bed. I can't imagine why I didn't see this coming. I've been under a pretty fair amount of stress at work, not to mention all the personal stuff and I've been out almost every night for a week. Thursday was my only night off, which I really needed after the concert with Paul Wednesday.

Jack Johnson was awesome. We ended up standing in the front row of the lawn section and had such a great time. The two girls next to us ended up being a really sweet couple from Agie's hometown (which is pretty small and in PA). Agie dropped me off at Paul's where I woke him up from a dead sleep because the beer I'd had interfered with my usual ninja-like stealthiness. I did feel bad the next morning when he was groggy and grumpy from lack of sleep.

Saturday Paul and I went to lunch where we ran into Katie (Paul's first run-in with one of my friends post-incident. He felt uncomfortable and thought Katie was cool towards him. I didn't notice, but if she was, can you blame her? It will get better I am sure. Over time, we'll all get over it as long as he doesn't do it again - if that happens all bets are off and my friends have free reign) and then went our separate ways. We met back up at Buffalo Billiard and played some pool. We were once again the victims of poor service - these establishments really need to hire more people. The guy started off pretty rude, but eventually made reparations even though we weren't able to order food until 10pm. Ugh. After that we went to The Big Hunt for a couple beers and better service. Unfortunately we only had one of the two. Evidently the bartender was really rude to Melissa. So unnecessary. While she and Chris were outside talking Paul got all hokey on me. To paraphrase : I like you. Really. Thank you for putting up with me. I teased him about it yesterday, but not because it was silly or dumb, because it was really cute and sweet.

Sunday Paul and I went to breakfast where we actually had pretty good service and then split up to run errands and have some sorely needed down time. I woke up sneezy and stayed that way the entire day. I haven't been able to breathe through my nose since Saturday night and woke up this morning completely congested, but sneezing less thank God. Hopefully it will run it's course by tomorrow. I'm in charge of a fairly big tasting event Wednesday and I would prefer to be healthy.

Burn the Boot

I have been boot free for almost two weeks now. Man, life is good. I really, really hated that beast. The ankle has been holding up fairly well, it hurts, but no more than it ever did so I'm taking that as a sign it is healing. The doctor told me as much this afternoon at my follow-up. He reviewed the films from my MRI (I had to go get one last week - freaky) and said there are no tears, ruptures, tumors (what?!?! that was an option?!?!) but there is fluid surrounding my tendon. Which can take up to 8 months to heal completely. Sigh. So much for running by the end of the year.

I'm Such a Geek

I am a little excited about The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe movie coming out. I loved the books growing up (okay, I admit - I don't think I ever finished the Prince Caspian one) and re-read them every couple years. The movies thus far have been pretty bad, but this one is looking to be pretty good....we'll see if they stick to the book.

Update

Paul and I went to dinner last night. It actually went really well once we got out of my apartment. It was a bit rough there at first. Didn't do the kiss hello I usually do and was very standoffish - not intentionally of course, just didn't know what to do or how to act. Once we started walking though it was good. We talked on the walk to dinner and then concentrated on enjoying each other's company and had a really fun time. We stopped and played a few games of pool on the way home which made me remember how good our first date was and why exactly I like him so much.

I came to the realization last night that I am more myself with him than anyone I've ever met...including myself. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. As it stands now, I am forgiving and forgetting (trying) and he is understanding it's going to take me a while to be completely okay. I am hopeful and that is good, right?

So I sent a Reader's Digest version of the above to my friend Mark. His reply : "One thought: have you ever stopped to think that you being more yourself is actually a bad thing? I mean, your personality does kind of suck. ;)" Thank God for friends that keep you humble, eh?

Looting v. Finding

I could tell watching the coverage of the hurricane aftermath that it was slanted, but this makes me disgusted. I'm not sure why I am surprised at this, but it is just awful.

On a more amusing, albeit still disturbing, note some quotes from the one Bush I ever had fond feelings for:


Former first lady Barbara Bush said of those displaced from New Orleans to Houston's Astrodome: "And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

Mrs. Bush also said, "What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas."

http://www.npr.org/news/specials/hurricane/katrina/blog_090605.html

Oh Babs.....if only these were taken out of context. I still have a soft spot for ya.

Jimmy Eat Green Day

In all the, um, excitement I have forgotten to mention one of the best concerts (seriously, Top 5) I've been to. Paul, Agie, a friend of hers and I went to the Jimmy Eat World/Green Day show last Tuesday. It was fantastic. Just absolutely pure fun.

Top 5

Below are the Top Five Messages From Friends:

5. Just look inside yourself and ask if this is something worth fighting for.
4. I'm drunk in my backyard looking up at the moon but I can't find it. Oh there's the North Star. Okay, we are under the same star and I know you will be okay.
3. Ok. Take care of yourself and tell me if you need me. It will feel better soon. Do you need comfort sex?
2. When I get mad, I go to match.com and see what else is out there.
1. I tell you that life is sweet in spite of the misery...you will get through this. Promise. Love.

I know I have said this before, but I have an amazing group of friends. I am so blessed (Mark will get mad if I use the term lucky) to have these people in my life. I can only hope I am as good to them in their times of need. I really don't know what I would have done this weekend without them. I can't imagine what it is like to not have a support group.

And So It Goes

Paul and I went down to NC to visit his dad this weekend. I was really looking forward to it - getting away for four days, enjoying the slow calm that is the South; getting to finally spend some uninterrupted time with Paul who has been so busy working this past month. Despite his working so much, the last three weeks to a month (since we got back from his dad's last time right after I was considering ending it) have been great. I'd finally started to feel close to him, like he was letting me in, sharing himself with me and I was doing the same. Trust is a big deal for me and after six long years, I was letting myself fall for someone, giving a relationship a chance. It felt really good to know I deserve to be happy, that I deserve someone who treats me well. The weekend was going great - his dad and I get along well, and we even had a little heart to heart in the car while waiting for Paul. And then Sunday night happened.

I went to check my email while Paul and his dad took some stuff over to the house. I pulled up gmail and Paul's came up. He hadn't signed out after checking his. I know they say curiosity killed the cat, but I couldn't help myself. My initial reason for poking around was to see if he'd ever read an email I had sent him last time we were in NC, explaining why I was having such a difficult time trusting. Long story short, there were a number of emails that someone in a relationship should not be sending/receiving. He'd cheated on me.

I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. The last six months was all a lie. I'd been had. I'd been fooled. So many more thoughts raced through my head. And then I got mad. I decided not to say anything to him that evening. I didn't want to make his father uncomfortable and since we were there one more night I decided to play it cool. He, of course, knew something was bothering me and confronted me about it before we went to dinner. A ten minute conversation with him confronting me about why I was acting strangely (going outside to make phone calls, changing future plans) turned into a two hour fight about his infidelity. At the start I was ready to walk away from him Sunday and never see him again, as painful as that would be. He offered to find me a hotel, whatever I needed. By the end of the talk, I was ready to start thinking about things. He offered to do whatever necessary to make it right, to get me to trust him again, however long it could take, he would understand. He explained some things, things/reasons I won't get into here because they are personal to him. I can bare my thoughts and feelings and experiences but I won't do that with others'.

He went and told his father what was going on (he'd cheated on me, I found out) and we went to dinner. While he was showering his dad said something along the lines of what was Paul thinking about something unrelated and I answered "yes, your son can be a huge idiot". He just looked at me with a sad, understanding look and offered me another glass of wine. Dinner was actually okay for his father and me.

We got back to the apartment and Paul went outside on the steps. I went and joined him and we talked some more. He said he wanted to try and make us work. I do want that. I want to work this out with him. I need some time. Some time to think about whether I can ever trust him again; if he can change; if he wants to change; if he is someone I see a future with outside of this issue, because if he's not then why go through this.

The really tough part for me is this - He is me before I met him. Before Paul, I had a habit of sabotaging relationships before they got too serious, or starting relationships with people who were either unavailable or just no good for me. I didn't think I deserved better so I didn't seek it out. It has taken me a very long time to get to where I am now and I am so glad my gut reaction was not "of course this is happening" or "I deserve to be treated this way and for this to happen".

I don't know what to do or when I will know but I do know I will never, ever do anything to make someone feel the way I've been feeling the last couple days. I've changed. I just wonder if he can.

Weekend of August 18-21

I knew this was going to happen. I have almost completely forgotten what I did. Drat. Oh! Thursday I went to see The Aristocrats with Jim and some other folks. I have not laughed that hard in a movie quite possibly ever. If you are at all easily offended this film is not for you. That said, the movie was hilarious and just the right length.

Friday we went out with Paul's friends - the really cute couple from a couple weeks ago. They are super fun. We hung out, played some pool, had some dinner. The service was near non-existent until the manager who was checking ids at the door started to personally serve us. I should write a letter about that one.

The rest of the weekend is a bit of a blur - sorry if you are reading this and hurt that I can't seem to remember what I'm sure was a great time spent with you. Eh, bygones.

Last Weekend

Let's see.....last weekend. I think I stayed in Friday night. Is that right? NO. That was date night with Katie. We started our evening at the Nats game and then decided that we were having such fun with each other that we should continue our evening at her favorite bar. We had a great time. Best date I've been on forever (just kidding Paul, but Katie - it really was).

Saturday night Paul came over after working until 1:30 am Friday night and working from 6 - 5 Saturday. He was a trooper, not exactly a bundle of fun, but it was really great to see him and spend time with him. We went to bed like an old couple at 10:30.