What Kind of Cheese Are You?

Cheese Test: What type of cheese are you?

Medical Evidence Proves I'm Special

And no, I don't mean short bus special. Man, my week keeps getting better. Turns out my tooth is cracked down to the jaw bone which is the reason anything being done to it is fine for a day or so and then starts to cause me indescribeable amounts of pain. So I had a root canal this afternoon. During the procedure I found out I have four canals instead of the usual three and they are 25 somethings long instead of the usual 23.

My Boyfriend Kicks Ass

So I'm having an awful day. I had a tooth fixed last week which was supposed to mark the end of my dental misadventures for the year. It started bothering me Tuesday, so I went in, they tinkered and told me to come back in 6 weeks. It was bothering me a bit and I hoped it would get better, but instead it has gotten to the point where I didn't sleep last night and even my tongue touching it makes a shooting pain go through my jaw. I called first thing this morning and was told my dentist wouldn't be in until Wednesday, which happens to be the day of our huge annual event. So, they got me in to see another dentist today. Hopefully it will take care of the problem. In addition to my tooth problems, I got to the Metro this morning and realized I had left my smartrip card at home. I didn't have anything close to a small bill in my wallet so I had to dig for change for a fare card. Plus, I've been stressed to the gills about next week. I've been on the verge of tears all morning (which usually doesn't happen, but no sleep plus pain plus unfortunate circumstances in time of high stress will do that to you).

So when I got a call from the front desk that I had a delivery I thought "what else?". The delivery turned out to be flowers with a note saying "Hope that your day gets better, Paul". He really is a great guy, not because he got me flowers, but because he took time to try to make me feel better. This is why he was worth a second chance. I am so glad I was able to give it to him.

My Name is Earl

I love Jason Lee. There, I said it. There is just something about him that I really adore. So when I heard he had a show premiering this season I was very excited. It's a good thing I like Mr. Lee not just for his boyish good looks otherwise this show would be a total wash. 70's CHiPS stache, check. Mullet with receeding hairline, check. T-shirt with sleeves cut off to show non-existent muscles, check. So I watched, nervously, hoping it wouldn't be some redneck comedy. Since moving to what is technically "the South" what little tolerance I had for that type of people has completely vanished due to people like the guy who had a tatoo on his arm of West Virginia filled in with the Confederate flag....viewing made possible by aforementioned t-shirt with sleeves cut off. Moving on. The show was great. See review above.

Romance Update

Real quick update on the Paul sitch. He and I have been spending a lot of time together the past few weeks and 95% of the time it has been great. There have been a few moments of angst, but they have all diffused relatively quickly and well. He's headed to Baltimore this weekend to hang out with the boys. I am a bit nervous about it, but trust him not to do anything that would hurt me or our relationship. I will be working at least all day Sunday, possibly Saturday as well and there is a possibility of hooking up (not in that way) with a former co-worker who may be in town Friday, so that should keep my mind off what he could be doing. Again, I trust him, but can't help the fleeting thoughts. I always had an overactive imagination. Damn my brilliant mind! Okay, it's probably statements like that that make Paul think I'm arrogant. Eh. Bygones.

One World Currency

After sitting with my boss for 40 minutes trying to make sense of his receipts from a trip that took him to two countries and used three currencies I have come to the conclusion that the world should have one currency. That's it. Just one. It would be so simple. It sure as hell would make my life easier and really, isn't that what it is all about? This idea is going up on the wall, right next to my Midwest Plan. If you know not of what I speak, you're totally missing out on gold.

Avast Me Hearties!

It is September 19th and you know what that means..... National Talk Like a Pirate Day. I really do believe my co-workers and I need to get out more given the level of excitement and amusement we are getting from this holiday. Any complainers? I'll make 'em walk the plank.

Foreign Affairs

The last two days have been very busy, stressful days here at work. It sucks. Especially because my boss is in Europe, arriving back in the office tomorrow. Monday, Tuesday and today were supposed to be kick back days. Yeah, not so much. I worked about 11.5 hours yesterday, all of them hectic.

Today I get in to find the following emails:
8:42 am "Hour delay in sofia. Unless delay too out of Frankfurt I'll never make connection. Check with airline/agent to find options. I should be on ground in 1 hour. I'll call. Have options ready. Tnx."
8:47 am "Business a must. Aisle too. See what they can come up with. "

Because that won't be difficult to do. Why on earth would you want to deal with the ticketing people in front of you who know what is going on? Instead, let's have someone in another country with limited to no access to flight information spend FOUR HOURS arranging your travel and hotel. Oh, and call and email every five minutes (no exaggeration) to get updates. And then, after having said person look up hotels in the bustling metropolis that is Sofia, Bulgaria and call five of them to hold rooms, go with the hotel that the airline suggests. He was lucky there were miles and an ocean in between us otherwise there would have been a world of hurt coming down on him. I felt for him, really I did. He'd spent close to 7 hours in a small, Eastern European airport. After hour three that went away and I wanted to inflict pain.

So now he will be back Friday, not tomorrow. I plan on having a leisurely day tomorrow. I will work hard, get my task list done, but I will do it at a calm pace. I don't get paid enough to stress like this.

Another Reason My State Rocks

Yes, I realize it's a Texas tycoon that donated the money, but I prefer to overlook that and focus entirely on where the animals end up.

Oh Quizno's - How You Deceive Me

Went across the street to Quizno's (they have a pickle bar) for some soup and a small salad (always trying to avoid scurvy this one, although the vat of orange juice I drank yesterday should hold me for a couple days). Now, I don't expect much from Quizno's. I generally go there if I don't have a lot of time or if the weather is poor because it is really, really close. Today it was a bit of the time, but mostly I am tired and wanted soup and didn't want to walk all the way to Au Bon Pain (you know I'm tired if 3 blocks is all the way). I sat at my desk, ate up my cup of soup (burnt my tongue - ow) and opened up my salad to find pure, cheap genius at work. A cursory glance at the greens shows a healthy mix of field greens; some purple cabbage, a little endive, spinach leaves, you get the idea. I went in thinking I was getting a good mixed green salad until I ate the two pieces of each of those to discover the rest of the container (about 80%) contained iceberg lettuce. No wonder it's only $2.50. Bravo Quizno's. Bravo.

I Choose to Blame the Cold Medicine

Completely forgot to give mad props (again, it's the cold medicine) to Katie for swinging by my apartment yesterday and dropping off OJ (the juice, not The Juice - she would never drop off a killer, um I mean "accused" killer) even after I bailed on going to the game yesterday. The liquid fruity goodness got me through the painful 9th inning of the Nats/Braves game. I shake my fist at you Chipper Jones!!!

Weekend Roundup

Going into this past weekend, I was excited about all the plans I had. Friday was the Jack Johnson concert with Agie, Saturday out with Paul and his friends (Cute Couple), Sunday game with Katie. By Saturday night I was exhausted and run down and by Sunday too sick to go to the game. I barely dragged myself in to the office this morning. If I didn't have two big projects to get done, I'd be home, drugged in bed. I can't imagine why I didn't see this coming. I've been under a pretty fair amount of stress at work, not to mention all the personal stuff and I've been out almost every night for a week. Thursday was my only night off, which I really needed after the concert with Paul Wednesday.

Jack Johnson was awesome. We ended up standing in the front row of the lawn section and had such a great time. The two girls next to us ended up being a really sweet couple from Agie's hometown (which is pretty small and in PA). Agie dropped me off at Paul's where I woke him up from a dead sleep because the beer I'd had interfered with my usual ninja-like stealthiness. I did feel bad the next morning when he was groggy and grumpy from lack of sleep.

Saturday Paul and I went to lunch where we ran into Katie (Paul's first run-in with one of my friends post-incident. He felt uncomfortable and thought Katie was cool towards him. I didn't notice, but if she was, can you blame her? It will get better I am sure. Over time, we'll all get over it as long as he doesn't do it again - if that happens all bets are off and my friends have free reign) and then went our separate ways. We met back up at Buffalo Billiard and played some pool. We were once again the victims of poor service - these establishments really need to hire more people. The guy started off pretty rude, but eventually made reparations even though we weren't able to order food until 10pm. Ugh. After that we went to The Big Hunt for a couple beers and better service. Unfortunately we only had one of the two. Evidently the bartender was really rude to Melissa. So unnecessary. While she and Chris were outside talking Paul got all hokey on me. To paraphrase : I like you. Really. Thank you for putting up with me. I teased him about it yesterday, but not because it was silly or dumb, because it was really cute and sweet.

Sunday Paul and I went to breakfast where we actually had pretty good service and then split up to run errands and have some sorely needed down time. I woke up sneezy and stayed that way the entire day. I haven't been able to breathe through my nose since Saturday night and woke up this morning completely congested, but sneezing less thank God. Hopefully it will run it's course by tomorrow. I'm in charge of a fairly big tasting event Wednesday and I would prefer to be healthy.

Burn the Boot

I have been boot free for almost two weeks now. Man, life is good. I really, really hated that beast. The ankle has been holding up fairly well, it hurts, but no more than it ever did so I'm taking that as a sign it is healing. The doctor told me as much this afternoon at my follow-up. He reviewed the films from my MRI (I had to go get one last week - freaky) and said there are no tears, ruptures, tumors (what?!?! that was an option?!?!) but there is fluid surrounding my tendon. Which can take up to 8 months to heal completely. Sigh. So much for running by the end of the year.

I'm Such a Geek

I am a little excited about The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe movie coming out. I loved the books growing up (okay, I admit - I don't think I ever finished the Prince Caspian one) and re-read them every couple years. The movies thus far have been pretty bad, but this one is looking to be pretty good....we'll see if they stick to the book.

Update

Paul and I went to dinner last night. It actually went really well once we got out of my apartment. It was a bit rough there at first. Didn't do the kiss hello I usually do and was very standoffish - not intentionally of course, just didn't know what to do or how to act. Once we started walking though it was good. We talked on the walk to dinner and then concentrated on enjoying each other's company and had a really fun time. We stopped and played a few games of pool on the way home which made me remember how good our first date was and why exactly I like him so much.

I came to the realization last night that I am more myself with him than anyone I've ever met...including myself. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. As it stands now, I am forgiving and forgetting (trying) and he is understanding it's going to take me a while to be completely okay. I am hopeful and that is good, right?

So I sent a Reader's Digest version of the above to my friend Mark. His reply : "One thought: have you ever stopped to think that you being more yourself is actually a bad thing? I mean, your personality does kind of suck. ;)" Thank God for friends that keep you humble, eh?

Looting v. Finding

I could tell watching the coverage of the hurricane aftermath that it was slanted, but this makes me disgusted. I'm not sure why I am surprised at this, but it is just awful.

On a more amusing, albeit still disturbing, note some quotes from the one Bush I ever had fond feelings for:


Former first lady Barbara Bush said of those displaced from New Orleans to Houston's Astrodome: "And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

Mrs. Bush also said, "What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas."

http://www.npr.org/news/specials/hurricane/katrina/blog_090605.html

Oh Babs.....if only these were taken out of context. I still have a soft spot for ya.

Jimmy Eat Green Day

In all the, um, excitement I have forgotten to mention one of the best concerts (seriously, Top 5) I've been to. Paul, Agie, a friend of hers and I went to the Jimmy Eat World/Green Day show last Tuesday. It was fantastic. Just absolutely pure fun.

Top 5

Below are the Top Five Messages From Friends:

5. Just look inside yourself and ask if this is something worth fighting for.
4. I'm drunk in my backyard looking up at the moon but I can't find it. Oh there's the North Star. Okay, we are under the same star and I know you will be okay.
3. Ok. Take care of yourself and tell me if you need me. It will feel better soon. Do you need comfort sex?
2. When I get mad, I go to match.com and see what else is out there.
1. I tell you that life is sweet in spite of the misery...you will get through this. Promise. Love.

I know I have said this before, but I have an amazing group of friends. I am so blessed (Mark will get mad if I use the term lucky) to have these people in my life. I can only hope I am as good to them in their times of need. I really don't know what I would have done this weekend without them. I can't imagine what it is like to not have a support group.

And So It Goes

Paul and I went down to NC to visit his dad this weekend. I was really looking forward to it - getting away for four days, enjoying the slow calm that is the South; getting to finally spend some uninterrupted time with Paul who has been so busy working this past month. Despite his working so much, the last three weeks to a month (since we got back from his dad's last time right after I was considering ending it) have been great. I'd finally started to feel close to him, like he was letting me in, sharing himself with me and I was doing the same. Trust is a big deal for me and after six long years, I was letting myself fall for someone, giving a relationship a chance. It felt really good to know I deserve to be happy, that I deserve someone who treats me well. The weekend was going great - his dad and I get along well, and we even had a little heart to heart in the car while waiting for Paul. And then Sunday night happened.

I went to check my email while Paul and his dad took some stuff over to the house. I pulled up gmail and Paul's came up. He hadn't signed out after checking his. I know they say curiosity killed the cat, but I couldn't help myself. My initial reason for poking around was to see if he'd ever read an email I had sent him last time we were in NC, explaining why I was having such a difficult time trusting. Long story short, there were a number of emails that someone in a relationship should not be sending/receiving. He'd cheated on me.

I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. The last six months was all a lie. I'd been had. I'd been fooled. So many more thoughts raced through my head. And then I got mad. I decided not to say anything to him that evening. I didn't want to make his father uncomfortable and since we were there one more night I decided to play it cool. He, of course, knew something was bothering me and confronted me about it before we went to dinner. A ten minute conversation with him confronting me about why I was acting strangely (going outside to make phone calls, changing future plans) turned into a two hour fight about his infidelity. At the start I was ready to walk away from him Sunday and never see him again, as painful as that would be. He offered to find me a hotel, whatever I needed. By the end of the talk, I was ready to start thinking about things. He offered to do whatever necessary to make it right, to get me to trust him again, however long it could take, he would understand. He explained some things, things/reasons I won't get into here because they are personal to him. I can bare my thoughts and feelings and experiences but I won't do that with others'.

He went and told his father what was going on (he'd cheated on me, I found out) and we went to dinner. While he was showering his dad said something along the lines of what was Paul thinking about something unrelated and I answered "yes, your son can be a huge idiot". He just looked at me with a sad, understanding look and offered me another glass of wine. Dinner was actually okay for his father and me.

We got back to the apartment and Paul went outside on the steps. I went and joined him and we talked some more. He said he wanted to try and make us work. I do want that. I want to work this out with him. I need some time. Some time to think about whether I can ever trust him again; if he can change; if he wants to change; if he is someone I see a future with outside of this issue, because if he's not then why go through this.

The really tough part for me is this - He is me before I met him. Before Paul, I had a habit of sabotaging relationships before they got too serious, or starting relationships with people who were either unavailable or just no good for me. I didn't think I deserved better so I didn't seek it out. It has taken me a very long time to get to where I am now and I am so glad my gut reaction was not "of course this is happening" or "I deserve to be treated this way and for this to happen".

I don't know what to do or when I will know but I do know I will never, ever do anything to make someone feel the way I've been feeling the last couple days. I've changed. I just wonder if he can.

Weekend of August 18-21

I knew this was going to happen. I have almost completely forgotten what I did. Drat. Oh! Thursday I went to see The Aristocrats with Jim and some other folks. I have not laughed that hard in a movie quite possibly ever. If you are at all easily offended this film is not for you. That said, the movie was hilarious and just the right length.

Friday we went out with Paul's friends - the really cute couple from a couple weeks ago. They are super fun. We hung out, played some pool, had some dinner. The service was near non-existent until the manager who was checking ids at the door started to personally serve us. I should write a letter about that one.

The rest of the weekend is a bit of a blur - sorry if you are reading this and hurt that I can't seem to remember what I'm sure was a great time spent with you. Eh, bygones.

Last Weekend

Let's see.....last weekend. I think I stayed in Friday night. Is that right? NO. That was date night with Katie. We started our evening at the Nats game and then decided that we were having such fun with each other that we should continue our evening at her favorite bar. We had a great time. Best date I've been on forever (just kidding Paul, but Katie - it really was).

Saturday night Paul came over after working until 1:30 am Friday night and working from 6 - 5 Saturday. He was a trooper, not exactly a bundle of fun, but it was really great to see him and spend time with him. We went to bed like an old couple at 10:30.

Randoms

So my boss is supposed to be on vacation this week but managed to find reasons to come into the office today and has been driving me nuts since he arrived at 10:30. Just now, out of the blue, he calls and says "I just want to thank you for keeping the plane running on time. No one is perfect, least of all me and I want you to know I really appreciate you and the work you do". Well wasn't that just the nicest thing to hear.

On another note, I have the theme song to Gilligan's Island stuck in my head because Mark called me Gilligan earlier. And now, I pass the pain on to you.

Birthday

Second weekend update. Yay! This will be two down, one to go which means I just might be able to be caught up by this weekend. Okay, here goes.

August 12 - 14th:

So there are a couple reasons I don't really look forward to my birthday. In order from least important to most:
1. I grew up poor. We weren't destitute, but we were barely comfortable. Anyways, I'm not used to presents and I get really weird when I get them. Don't get me wrong, I love getting presents and I appreciate the thought and effort that goes into them, I just don't expect them and am never disappointed if I don't receive any. For the couple weeks leading up to my birthday Paul kept asking what I wanted. So I eventually just told him that what would make me happy is if he were to get something that showed he has taken the time to get to know me over the last six months (dear God, has it been that long?).
2. I hate being sung to, especially if it is in a restaurant. I blush, get all flustered. It's uncomfortable.
3. For the 6 years spanning from 19 to 25 something bad happened to either a family member or close friend the week of my birthday. We're not talking sprained ankles here. There was a car accident, major surgeries, a death culminating with my father's stroke on my 25th birthday. It got to the point where I dreaded my birthday and almost the whole month of August.

So it's just been the last year or so (since I moved to DC actually) that I've even gotten close to looking forward to my birthday. This year didn't let me down.

Friday, sometime around 3 pm I got a box delivered to my office. Inside were two dozen roses. At the risk of sounding horribly ungrateful, I've never been a huge fan. I'm much more of a Gerbera daisy or wildflower girl. And man do I love tulips. I am now, however, a changed woman. These roses were beautiful. There were four different colors; deep blood red, rich peach, rust, and yellow with orange/red tips. Absolutely stunning flowers. He did real good that Paul. I might keep him around awhile longer. Two weeks later and they are just now ready to get tossed (sad day). I feel like I did something that evening but can't remember. Sorry to whomever I shared that evening with. Nothing personal.

Saturday was great fun. Heather has had a documentary on Scrabble tournaments that she has been wanting to throw a Scrabble party and watch. The only day she could come up with was the 13th. Great, I said, that way I don't have to deal with doing anything for my birthday. She took that not as me saying, yay I get to see my friends and not have it be about my birthday but as yay I get to host a birthday party. So Saturday night a group of us hung out at Heather's, grilled pizzas, watched the movie Word Wars and played a game of Scrabble. Yes, I know I'm a geek.

Sunday was my birthday and I wasn't really planning on doing much of anything that day other than hanging out with Katie and watching Six Feet Under. Paul had to work all weekend and has been putting in ungodly hours at work during the week so I was content with doing things with my friends and seeing Paul on a day other than my birthday. Well, Paul ended up not working Sunday and taking me out to dinner to a restaurant I have been wanting to go to for awhile now. It was a very nice surprise even with Paul's "Don't ever say I don't listen to you" statement as we walked into the place. Then we went to a movie and headed our separate ways home.

As bummed as I was that Paul didn't come to the thing Saturday, I understood that it wasn't something he would have any interest in doing and he was overworked and exhausted. And it was a fantastic surprise to spend time with him Sunday. All in all, a really great weekend.

Three Hour Tour

Finding out I'm going down to Paul's dad's for Labor Day reminded me that I have yet to tell about our previous trip down there. And my birthday weekend. And this past weekend. I'm such a slacker. Okay let's tackle the first one.

The weekend of August 5-7:
Paul and I both took that Friday off to take a trip down to visit his father in NC. Paul came over Thursday night which was nice. We haven't been having a lot of time together so spending an evening in together was great. We headed to Union Station Friday morning and had breakfast before hopping on the train. This is the point in the story where it goes bad. I realized I didn't have my iPod. For a 6 hour train ride. I picked up a cheesy, mindless magazine (Cosmo) and a puzzle book and hoped for the best in train mates. Sigh.

The train was really packed, but luckily we were able to find seats together and Paul was "kind" enough to let me have the window seat (I played the iPodless girl card). Things weren't too bad until an hour or so into the trip when the Satan's spawn a couple rows behind us decided that he needed to yell and scream at the top of his lungs for his mother, who happened to be sitting right next to him. Then, in what can only be described as an effort to calm him down, the mother let him run up and down the train aisle. All I can say is that brat is lucky I was at the window or my foot might have stretched out into the aisle. After an hour or two of that, the older brother, again in an attempt to quell the savage beast that was this four year old, moved seats away from the rest of the family to, you guessed it, RIGHT BEHIND US. It was at this point Paul turned to me and asked "Does God hate you?". I was thinking the same thing. I got fed up and walked through a couple cars looking for two empty seats. In the third car I found them and made Paul move. I was much happier the rest of the trip. Before you get all "Oh, Plan B, they're just kids" on me you need to realize this was beyond a kid being a kid - it was awful. Plus my hypoglycemia was kicking in since it was past 4 and I hadn't eaten since 9. I was pretty impressed with how much I held back. Moving on.

Paul's dad picked us up at the train station and then took us out to dinner. We had a lovely meal. I know I've said this before, but I really like his dad. The next day (Saturday) we went to check out the almost finished new house his dad is having built. It is going to be a really nice home. Very spacious and airy and right on a golf course. After that, we headed to the marina where his sailboat is docked and set sail for a day on the water. I was so looking forward to that! I haven't been out on a boat for a very long time and I really, really miss it. We were just starting to motor out of the harbor when we got called back by the harbor master. Turns out a valve wasn't opened when we started out and it was causing the engine to overheat. We got the engine to cool down and headed out once again. It was so much fun. We got caught in a bit of a storm which actually was great - it cooled us down a bit, even if we did get soaked. I had forgotten how much I love sailing. It's so calming and relaxing. Even when the boat feels as though it is going to tip over (which I know it won't, but Paul seemed concerned a couple of times - damn sharks). We started to head back to shore (which was in sight the entire time) when the motor died. Wouldn't really have been a problem but for the fact there was no wind. So we slowly drifted back to shore over the next two hours. Hey - at least we got to lay in the sun and dry off from the storm, right?

We were all pretty wiped from our day at sea so we grilled and watched movies and went to bed pretty early. The next day Paul's dad was kind enough to drive us back to DC. His reasoning was this - 2 hours to the train station (4 hours round trip for him) + 6 hours on the train = 8 hours travel for us. It would only be about 9 round trip for him to drive us back so he took one for the team and brought us back. We were home hours before we were scheduled to be which was great.

So that was the weekend at Paul's dad's in brief. It was a nice, relaxing weekend which is exactly what we needed. I love getting out of the city!

Really? The Pussycat Dolls?

So I'm flipping through the channels the other night and noticed a promo for the Teen Choice Awards. I will generally tune into these shows for the "live" performances because, yes, I do enjoy the occasional dose of undeserved pop superstardom. The usual cast of characters were there, Gwen Stefani, Black Eyed Peas and then to my shock they mention the Pussycat Dolls. Are you kidding? They are a burlesque act - singing "dontcha wish your girlfriend was (blank) like me?". The words to fill in the blank you ask? Raw, a freak, hot, fun. Sigh. Now, I'm no prude, not too conservative but c'mon there has got to be a line. There were 8 year olds in the audience singing along. Granted, bad parenting may factor into this a bit but don't the producers and talent bookers of the show have some responsibility here?

I Wish This Wasn't a Joke

Just imagine the debates.

Maureen, Oh How We've Missed You!

Maureen Dowd has been on book leave for a couple months. It has felt like years (okay, I admit I am being a tad over dramatic here) but I have grown addicted to her twice weekly column. She gets me through the week, giving me a sense of comfort and solidarity that there are others out there who have the same observations and feelings I do (other than my like-minded friends). And so it follows that I felt an overwhelming sense of joy when I saw she was back this morning and back with a vengeance she is..... A couple choice quotes below.

In reference to the mom camping outside Bush's retreat:

"Ms. Sheehan said that W. had referred to her as "Mom" throughout the meeting, and given her the sense that he did not know who her son was. The Bush team tried to discredit "Mom" by pointing reporters to an old article in which she sounded kinder to W. If only her husband were an undercover C.I.A. operative, the Bushies could out him. But even if they send out a squad of Swift Boat Moms for Truth, there will be a countering Falluja Moms for Truth."

"Selectively humane, Mr. Bush justified his Iraq war by stressing the 9/11 losses. He emphasized the humanity of the Iraqis who desire freedom when his W.M.D. rationale vaporized. But his humanitarianism will remain inhumane as long as he fails to understand that the moral authority of parents who bury children killed in Iraq is absolute. "

So Much To Tell, So Little Time

I hate when work makes me too busy to blog! Most of you don't realize how ironic this statement really is. I've been in a funk the last couple days because of my job and how unchallenging it is. I really feel stuck in a go nowhere position that I am being wasted in. Ugh. Before you jump all over me, I have been taking steps the past two days to make changes to this. Anyway, back to my original thought. There has been a lot going on while I've been gone from the blog:

• Spent a three day weekend visiting in North Carolina at Paul's dad's. Stories to follow include Amtrak ride from hell, sailing, best pork chop ever.
• Drinks with Heather last night.
• Yet another pregnant high school friend (actually his wife).
• The boot saga continues.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

In an effort to bring cheer to my really crappy day, my co-worker and friend Stephanie pointed met to the above site. Ah Josh, you wacky, cynical comic-lover you. How you amuse me!

It Came From His Pants

After a brutal round of physical therapy yesterday (if my ankle had an ass it would've been kicked) I went to the Nats v. Dodgers game with Katie. I was looking forward to it for two reasons. 1 - I am not a Dodger fan so it would have been doubly nice to see the Nats win over them. 2 - Katie just got back from 3 weeks in Qatar and I was excited about catching up with her. Well, the Nats lost unfortunately but the 8th inning was some of the best baseball I've seen.

The most exciting thing, however, was during the sixth (?) inning when I looked over and saw a humongous spider crawling up the pant leg of the guy sitting next to Katie. All I could muster was an "eh...Katie...." and a pointing finger. She did the same sort of thing to the guy who then brushed off the spider to the floor with the intent of stomping on it. Unfortunately, it was the same color of the peanut shells underneath his seat. We spent the rest of the game feeling like we had crawly things on us. I leaned over to Katie and asked "Where could it have come from?". Her reply above.

Do Over

Can I get a do over for the week? It is just plain sad that I want to crawl back into bed until this week is over and it is only Tuesday. I went to the dentist to get a cap put on. It is a simple 15 minute procedure. When the cap fits. Mine didn't. So I was there for an hour and a half. The hygienist they had working on me must have never worked on a patient before ever. He had to fit me 3 times before it worked. I hate him. The corners of my mouth are chaffed and I have a cut on the back of my jaw. I hate him. Oh wait, it gets better. The TV above the chair was on. Regis and Kelly had The Wiggles on. For those of you not familiar, they are a musical group for children who tend to repeat the same four - six words for three minutes and call it a song. They did two of these catchy numbers. Then, as if that weren't bad enough, next up on the ABC lineup was an infomercial/telethon for Saint Jude's children's hospital. So I got to sit there, my mouth hurting, "hygienist" guy spilling Listerine on me, telling myself that I could have it worse, I could be one of the children I was watching dying on television. Man I am done with this week. Really, really looking forward to going down to Paul's dad's for the weekend.

Today Will Be a Good Day

After an emotionally exhausting day yesterday, I have made the decision that no matter what, today will be a good day. I am leaving now for a dentist appointment, working until 4:45, heading to physical therapy, then going to the Nats game with my good friend Katie. I won't tempt fate by asking how could it go bad.....I will just look forward to what the day has in store for me.

I Had To Laugh

As much love as I have for my dear Aquaman, I had to laugh at this website. The guy really is clever even if he obviously has WAAAAAY too much time on his hands. Thanks Mark for finding this for me :)

Tick Tock You Don't Stop

Most of you are fortunate enough to not have any exposure to Color Me Badd. No, that isn't a typo, they really do spell it that way. I, on the other hand, was forced to listen to them my freshman year of college. One of our suitemates Pam, geeze I haven't thought of her in years, was obsessed with CMB. We're talking standing outside their hotel in the rain and waiting to meet them obsessed. It is a bit fuzzy (it has been 14 years - cut me some slack) but I'm pretty sure she met them at some point. Regardless, I was watching VH-1 last night (wow, I really AM old) and they had the 40 Most Awesomely Bad Dirrty Songs....Ever. CMB did not let me down. I Wanna Sex You Up was second only to Physical by Olivia Newton John. For the complete list click above. In spite of the incredible awfulness that was CMB I have some really good, no make that great, memories of times with those songs in the background. Even considering the badness that happened that year (not least of which was seeing a new friend's lifeless body after he'd been in a motorcycle crash) it really was filled with so many great times and memories. I wish I was still in contact with some of those people.

I Gotta Tell Ya....

Happy kitten stories make everything better. I'm such a sap.

I Am Far Too Old For This Type of Behavior

Precursor to story: Even though I started the day thinking I was going to stop seeing Paul, he and I talked about some stuff this morning and the things that have been bothering me about both of us should change. We shall see - I hope so. I kinda like the guy.

Okay, so I've been kinda unhappy with things with Paul for a bit now. I admit, some of it is my fault and I've been avoiding a real discussion with him about it because we have a lot of things coming up that we have committed to. Friday night kinda pushed me over the edge and I wasn't really looking forward to going out with him, his friend and his friend's girlfriend Saturday night. He kept pushing back the time to meet and got crabby with me when I asked questions about what the plans were. So I did something really, really stupid and went out for drinks and dinner with this guy Daniel who over the course of the last year has been trying to get me to go out with him in a more than friend kind of way. Not that I did anything untoward or gave Daniel the wrong impression at all. He knows I am dating Paul and I was very clear it was just two friends hanging out. I just needed to be around someone who was obvious in his attraction to me and desire to spend time with me for a bit of an ego boost. Look, I never said I was mature, okay?

Anyway, Daniel and I had a great time hanging out which put me in a much better mood. I cabbed over to Paul's and his friend & gf arrived a short time later. I ended up having a pretty good time. I had never met them before and they turned out to be a great couple. One of those couples you look at and are happy that they are so happy with each other and don't hate even though they are super cute and in love. Really fun people. Well, over the course of the evening I drank way more than I should have. Turns out drinking for about 6 hours is not a good idea. So stupid. I ended up getting a bit sick and felt like crap all day yesterday. The irony here is that I would have been fine if I hadn't met up with Daniel. Talk about instant karma.

I Spoke Too Soon

Friday, a mere half hour after posting how my day had flown by in a good busy sort of way I got bad busy - 4:59 on a Friday let's decide to create and send out four press releases to media lists we haven't created bad busy. It was awful. We ended up getting out of here around 7:15 so I headed straight to the sports bar to meet Paul who, it turns out, was also reeling from a stressful day/week/undetermined amount of time. So we weren't the most fun people to be around. We ate, had some beers, watched some baseball and then decided to go see The Island. I thought it was awful, Paul enjoyed it. I would have thought it was an alright movie, but the really crappy, sappy, lame ending put it over the "wow this is two + hours of my life I will never, ever get back" line. We both really should have just gone home.

Oh My God It Is 4:04

Where did my day go? I can't believe it is almost over. Yay! It has been one of those days that started off well and continued to go that way. I've been super busy, but it has been a really good busy so I will refrain from complaining. Looking forward to the weekend - hopefully my adventures will create some fun stories for y'all.

What's the Matter With Kansas?

I'm reading the book What's the Matter With Kansas - How Conservatives Won the Heart of America by Thomas Frank right now. It is quite the entertaining read focused around the supposition that it is self-defeating for middle america red states to vote so solidly Republican. He goes through the history of the state from its start as a haven for radical liberals to the uber-conservative state it is today. So when I received an email from my dear friend and soon to be former co-worker Niki with the subject "Just something else that's wrong with Kansas" I was intrigued. And then I became sickened by the article (click on title above). Turns out you can marry a 14 year old boy or 12 year old girl in Kansas as long as there is parental consent. WHAT?!?!? How is that okay? This just gives more backing to my "you should need a license to have children" movement.

Dictator or Sit-Com Star?

This is mindless fun for a couple minutes. Enjoy!

More Jersey

You know how there are just some songs and occasionally cds that just speak to your current frame of mind or circumstances you are going through? Okay, maybe you don't have that connection to music, but I do and right now I can't stop listening to the Garden State soundtrack (especially Track 3 above). It is just that good. I re-watched the movie about a week and a half ago and it was just as good the third time around. It also reminded me of how much I enjoyed the music so I popped the cd into my iTunes and haven't really listened to anything else the last few days. It's calming, relaxing and thought-provoking all at once. I'm done - just promise you'll check it out sometime.

Winning the War on Terror One Kick at a Time

During kickball season we receive Ghost Man on Third which is our weekly newsletter for goings-on in the kickball world. Every week has a top ten and this week's was so great I had to share.

7. KICKBALL IN IRAQ ...

WAKA has launched a kickball division in Iraq -- the Fallujah Semper Fidelis Division. If you don't believe us, check out the following website for proof:
http://www.worldkickball.com/fallujahsemperfidelis/

News that the Marines in Fallujah would be playing kickball got us to wondering: How might kickball in the military be different from our flavor of kickball? We investigated. Here's what we discovered:

Top 10 Ways Kickball Is Different In the Military:

10. Four-woman rule means Honeycutt, Esposito, Carter, and Pyle sometimes have to "pull a Klinger."
9. Pitching rule exception made for squat-thrust technique.
8. "Boo!" replaced with "Drop and give me 50, maggot!"
7. Team leader Sgt. Slaughter gets total head rush when players refer to him as "captain."
6. Spit-shined equipment. (Head-ref has to be able to see his frikkin' reflection in that damn kickball before play can begin, you piece of crap!)
5. "Kicked in the privates" not what you think it means.
4. The Humvee Drivers -- when not AWOL -- always complaining about combat cleats ruining their pedicures.
3. Park Police not the only ones with weapons now, huh? Huh?! How do you like that?!
2. MP Week at Kelly's Iraqi Times always puts MPs in an awkward position.
And the No. 1 way that kickball is different in the military ...
1. No ghost enlisted men allowed.

All jokes aside, Ghost Man salutes our uniformed personnel overseas for their bravery and their perseverance, and we wish them a safe and swift return to U.S. soil.


God bless these shorts.

Spalding Tattoo

I was watching the Sox game last night without Paul - I think the illness is contagious. Granted, I was flipping (there is still hope) and was shocked when I flipped back to the game to see Clement draped on the pitching mound with 10 people around him. Of course this was the one time the announcers had nothing to say so it took a good five minutes of staring at the screen before I found out what happened. I do give the network credit - they warned viewers before replaying the clip of Clement getting nailed in the head by the ball. Unlike the Today show Monday when they kept replaying the video of the woman diver hitting her head on the diving board. Or Monday Night Football about seven years ago (yes, I was that scarred) when they seemed to have the footage of the linebacker (for the Steelers I think?) getting hit and breaking his leg on a constant loop.

Sigh

Ugh. Why are relationships such work? It seems like it would be easy. Two people like each other. Two people spend time with each other and enjoy one another's company. Where does it become difficult? Communication I think. Everyone has their own style of communication and when those two styles don't mix it can be really bad. Some like to talk a lot, some don't like to talk at all and then there are those in the middle. I am usually middle of the road but lately I've been wanting to talk a lot and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not an over-analyzer, I'm usually really good with go-with-the-flow, let's see what happens situations, and am hardly ever insecure in relationships.

This thing with Paul is different and I am not sure why. Maybe it's because this is the first relationship I've taken seriously for a good 6 years. Maybe it's because I'm older and don't want to waste time (or his) if this is something that is just going to be fun. I've been in the "let's just have fun and then go our separate ways" relationships. They have their place but I've outgrown them. I'm not saying I want to get married anytime soon, far from it. I just really need to figure out a bunch of crap before I go down that road. I don't look at him and think "this man is going to be the father of my children" or write my name with his last or think about marriage with him at all at this point. It's still far too new. I guess I just want to know if he sees this going somewhere or if it's just a filler. God, that's awful. I am going to go to physical therapy, go home, take a bath, drink a glass of wine and relax. This is ridiculous. I need more to do.

Penguins, Cops and Copters

After a very miserable, boring day spent on my couch elevating my ankle (no it isn't getting better, but thanks so much for asking!) I was restless and going crazy. Jim and I haven't seen each other for a few weeks so when he called to see what I was doing, I jumped at the chance to go out. We decided to do dinner and a movie. He mentioned March of the Penguins and I jumped all over it. Feeling sorry for me, he agreed, but spent the better part of the evening trying to convince me to see something else (Hustle and Flow) that I do want to see, but it looks depressing and he and I have a tendency to see sad movies so I won out. Don't feel pain for him - his remark as we left was "Wow, that was excellent".

He drove me home like the gentleman he can be and we saw about 30 police cars on and blocking the street below mine. Then after I got in my house, promptly locking the door behind me, I heard a police helicopter patrolling the area. The scary part? Jim and I saying "Oh, someone must have been shot" and continuing about our business. When did I become a person used to gun violence?

Internet Porn

Agie, a friend of ours and I went to dinner Friday night after work. We went to this Irish pub in Bethesda and were dismayed to find no table for us to sit at in the bar. So we shared one with three guys who proved to be, ahem, entertaining to say the least. We weren't being too social with them at first but when one of them got left at the table while the other two went outside he struck up a conversation with us about Broadway shows. I know. It gets odder. The other two come back and join in the conversation (it had since moved on from NYC) and ask us what we do. Somehow my mouth uttered "internet porn". I am going to blame it on the drugs I am taking for my ankle. It digressed from there and thankfully they left pretty soon after. At least the food and beer was good.

Post Secret

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail-in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. Some are funny, some are disturbing and some will make you think "I am so glad someone else feels that way".

My Own Personal Oompa Loompa

There were quite a few memorable moments from our event last night. Two of my favorite:

The staffer who came in and acted like he owned the place, this after asking where the cash machine was. He then came back and asked where his friends ("our entire office was invited") could put their luggage when they arrived. Um, hello....it is a residence, not a hotel. Oh, and his entire office wasn't invited. The Congressman was, not his interns. Sigh. Hillies.

There was an odd little French man who kept wandering the party. He was about 5'2", roundish with white shoulder length wavy hair. He walked up to me at one point and said "As soon as you are out of that (pointing at my boot) you and me, we will go out". Um okay stranger. Turns out he is Georges DeParis, tailor of the US Presidents dating back to LBJ. He was quite charming and entertaining and if he wasn't old enough to be my grandfather I would take him up on that dinner date.

Ouch

Our event last night was a smashing sucess. Everyone had a fantastic time, the Ambassador was happy and we didn't have to kick anyone out. Unfortunately, standing on my ankle for over four hours didn't agree with it. My leg is pretty much numb from my knee down. And where it isn't numb it hurts like hell. I really should go home, but it is already after four and I'm meeting Paul down the street from my office at 6:30. It just makes more sense to suck it up and stick it out. Ugh.

Inside Voice Plan B, Inside Voice

And by inside I mean inside my head. I'm wearing a top today that I wouldn't normally wear into the office. We have an event this evening and I just didn't feel like bringing extra clothes into the office with me so my shirt is not-quite-but-borderline office inappropriate. It's just a little more low-cut and flouncy than I would prefer. Nothing scandalous by any means. Moving on. My boss came into my office first thing this morning with a huge smile on his face and said "nice boot". Well what I heard and said out loud was "nice boob". I don't know that I have ever turned that red in my entire life.

Cautiously Optimistic

I am hoping John G. Roberts is a man who is able to set aside his personal beliefs and let the law and precedents guide his rulings. We shall see. Otherwise it is going to be a very long 35 years.

P.S. to Newark

Heather reminded me this morning of another part of her Jersey saga. At one point the plane had to taxi back to the gate because it ran out of fuel. She finally arrived home a bit after 8 last night and is bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning.

At Least I'm Not in Newark

I've had a pretty bad day. Work is nuts because we're getting ready for this huge event at the French Ambassador's residence tomorrow evening. The event itself will be really fun, there will be dignitaries and members of Congress there and the residence is absolutely stunning, not to mention ginormous. It's just a lot of work. Add to that my boss' incredibly annoying habit of waiting to the last minute to do things that could have been done way in advance and you've got a surly Plan B. On top of work, I'm really bummed at the prospect of not seeing a lot or any of Paul in the next month, my ankle is still really bothering me, we unintentionally went to the Serbian Embassy instead of the Ambassador's residence, and it's beyond oppressively hot here in D.C.. It's just awful. Not as awful as my poor friend Heather's day.

She's been traveling internationally for work an enormous amount of time the last couple months. She was in Geneva last week, from there to Italy (that one was for fun), then from Italy she was headed to Mexico for more work. The Mexicans moved the meeting to next week so she was looking forward to getting back and spending this week in DC.

The gods are against her. I got these two text messages at 5 pm today:

1. "I'm back ok only kinda im n the us only prob is ive been locked in a plane since 2 on the tarmat we arent leaving until at least after 530 yes n the plane"

2. "stop the madness i just want off the plane hg"

So I called to chat her down off the ledge and turns out she flew out of Paris this morning at 1 am our time and hasn't stopped since. The poor thing. She should be landing any time now, but way out at Dulles which means she won't get home until close to 9. My day will never, ever be that bad.

I'm Sad

Paul is working almost every weekend between now and September. And the one weekend in August he isn't working isn't my birthday weekend which I guess doesn't matter because he won't be here that weekend anyway. Sigh. It sucks liking someone.

Evidently, Not That Friendly

This is somehow better than "The stars fell on Alabama" plate I saw today, but really.....a smiley face on the license plate?

Turns out I AM Perfect

So I guess Paul has been fooled by my jello-sweet exterior.


You are Rosy Perfection Salad!! Though your name
may be innocent and cheerful, your jello-sweet
exterior hides a foul, sinister core.

What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you?

Don't Drink Don't Smoke

What do you do? Subtle inuendos follow, must be something inside.

I discovered yesterday that my not-quite-a-boyfriend Paul thinks I'm a goody good. I'll give you time to contain your laughter and shouts of "Has he met you?"....enough time? Have you composed yourselves sufficiently for me to go on? Okay, take your time. I'll be here all day.

How to Lose Weight Without Even Trying

Ah the '70s. Such a great decade. Things the '70s brought to the world: Hong Kong Phooey, Schoolhouse Rock, Saturday Night Fever, Rocky, The Ramones, The Sex Pistols, The Clash, and most importantly me. There were fad diets galore, but none surpass this incarnation of Weight Watchers. These cards are frightful. I do believe the creators set about a way to create anorexics the world over by offering these recipes as a motivator to not eat and therefore shed the pounds like excess winter clothing in July.

Homegrown

If possible, my opinion of Katie Couric as a journalist (and I am using the term loosely) sank lower this morning. She began the piece with an opening along the lines of "In light of the recent discovery that the bombings in London were the result of homegrown terrorists, many Americans are asking 'could this happen here in the U.S.?'". Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't it happen in April of 1995 when Timothy McVeigh et al bombed the Federal building in Oklahoma City? Just checking.

I've Been Given the Boot

Sigh. I went to the orthopedist today wearing two shoes and came back wearing one of those and one of the ones in the link above. At least mine is all black, which in addition to being quite practical and matching everything is rather slimming. Oh, and that crap about it offering superior comfort? Yeah, no. So, I'm in the boot for three weeks, physical therapy for four. I have to go back to the doc a week from Monday to review the x-rays. If the ankle is not feeling better I will have to get an MRI. Woo hoo.

Dove Ads Should be Worldwide

Evidently, armed, masked gunmen stole approximately 400 breast implants in Brazil. I got a bit of a chuckle out of this story this morning until I read the entire article. Risk of gangrene or death from botched, illegal surgery? Why don't more women like themselves enough to be comfortable with what God (or whatever you belive in) gave them? Surgery is not fun. I will never comprehend why people get elective surgery.

Thank God for Hockey

Now if only DC had a good hockey team....

Shuttlebut

So no shuttle launch due to a faulty fuel sensor. This is in addition to a cover falling off earlier and damaging a couple tiles on the shuttle. Am I alone in being nervous about this?

Almost as Horrifying as the Cats Story

Ah, good old Senator Santorum. His book "It Takes a Family: Conservatism and the Common Good" was recently released to less than glowing Amazon.com reviews. Thanks Randall.

I've Learned My Lesson

About a year ago, maybe more, I was at dinner with some friends in a Japanese restaurant. We were having a good time, eating sushi, drinking saki and Sapporo when we heard a clatter and saw the waitress had dropped a tray carrying water glasses. When she was done cleaning it up, I walked by to go to the restroom and somehow managed to find the one small puddle she had missed. Wearing flippers which are not well known for their traction, I slipped and landed on my backside with my left leg underneath me. Having had some drinks, it didn't really hurt all that much at the time and I got up, went to the restroom and then went to the movie with my friends.

The next day was a different story. I couldn't really bend it, but I could put some weight on it, so I wrapped it up, wrote it off as a bad sprain and moved on hobbling for the next 3 - 4 days. It has bothered me off and on over the months but I haven't given it much thought. I've had bad knees/arthritis since high school so annoying pain in my legs is something I am used to. Well, I've started running again. Let me amend that. I have begun to jog/walk with the pipe dream of running again. As a result my ankle pain has been getting out of hand. On the way home yesterday my left leg from the knee down was numb. Not being a complete idiot, I got in to see the doctor today and was told after x-rays that the tendon going from my ankle up my leg is almost three times the size it should be. So I am off to an orthopedic surgeon Thursday, not for surgery but for physical therapy.....hopefully.

Let this be a lesson to all you "oh, it's just a sprain" people.

What is Wrong With These People?

Call me a bleeding heart, liberal tree-hugger all you will, but I read this story and almost gagged. I have no tolerance for animal suffering of any kind. I almost left Jurassic Park 3 (maybe 2 - I can't remember which awful movie it was) when they were hunting and wrangling up the dinosaurs because they looked so unhappy. Mock away.

You Had Me At Dave Navarro

Dammit. I've been sucked into another show. I really am a weak person. I tried not to watch. Honestly. But I caved because of my love for INXS. I was never a Michael Hutchins girl. My favorite was and always will be the drummer (I have a weakness for them) Jon Farriss. So I watched the first couple minutes thinking I would turn the channel if it was awful. And then came Dave Navarro and I was sold. The guy is a fantastic musician and a pretty fun guy to watch. Plus, the singers auditioning are actually, surprisingly good. Poor Paul. He has no idea I'm going to make him watch it tonight. Before you feel sorry for the guy - just know I will be made to watch Battlestar Galactica when new episodes start airing soon. Ugh.

Friday Night Debacle

It wasn't really a debacle per se, I just love to use that word. Paul's brother, sister-in-law, two nieces and dad were coming up to Baltimore Friday for the Sox game Saturday so I worked a 1/2 day Friday with the plan being to meet Paul and his dad at Paul's and then the three of us would drive up to Baltimore and have dinner with the rest of the family. We left a bit later than we wanted (about 3:45) and hit the road thinking it would take us longer than the usual hour to BWI. Longer turned out to be an almost 4 hour drive. It was awful. There was a sinkhole on the BW Parkway which is the road we needed to be on. This made everyone take the 95, the only other road we could take. Again, it was awful. I tried to keep looking on the bright side - at least I wasn't stuck in a car with people I couldn't stand; at least we had a/c; at least we were listening to good music - but man it was tough. I feel awful for Paul's dad - he had driven up from South Carolina that morning. We finally hit BWI and had dinner with his family which was a very pleasant time. His nieces are two of the prettiest children I've ever seen and very well behaved. They absolutely adore him too. Very cute.

So, after the short visit Paul and his dad dropped me off at the train station so I could catch the 10:30 train back to DC. For those of you smart folks, yes I actually spent more time getting to Baltimore than I spent there. 1/2 hour train ride later I was in DC and on my way home where I had a great night's sleep to start the most relaxing weekend ever.

Dy-no-mite!

I had a relaxing weekend at home after the debacle of Friday night (story to follow). While I was putting away groceries I flipped to MTV for some light, summer entertainment. What should I happen upon but the Best Show Evah! Okay, totally not the BSE but pretty fricken awesome. Or should I say groovy? I was a bit leery of MTV's The 70's House at first - c'mon it is MTV. They don't have a sterling reputation for producing quality television - but I watched anyway hoping for maybe a minute of fun. The looks on the kids' faces as they realized they were going to be living the Brady Bunch instead of the Real World were priceless. Then came the moment they found out they had to surrender all things not '70s... .iPods, laptops, cell phones, beauty products, then the wardrobe. Then, the capper which now has me wanting to watch more - everytime a bell rings, they have to do the Hustle regardless of what they're doing be it playing Pong, showering or sleeping. In the immortal words of JJ Walker, this show is "DY-NO-MITE!!!"

It's Official

Mark is my mortal enemy. He got John Denver in my head the bastard.

I Pity the Fool

I have had the theme to the A-Team in my head all morning. It's all the Express' fault. I read this "T Time - Two collectors pity the fools who get in their way - when it comes to amassing Mr. T memorabilia." Every time I managed to get it out of my head for some reason it popped back in. Maybe it was the police officers leaning against their cars at every Metro station. Or perhaps it was the big armored police vans outside of Metro Center. I don't know - but man did I feel safe riding the metro this morning.

Wedding Crashers

I am sitting here at my desk going into my eleventh hour at work with no food save two apples and a trail mix bar. I put my flippers on at 12:30 with every intention of going out to get food and haven't stopped since. I am now waiting for my jackhole of a boss (he's been good, just showing his ass today as Paul would say) to okay something so I can leave. I've decided to take this time to surf the net a bit and came across the soundtrack for Wedding Crashers. It rocks. It rocks so much that it has made me want to see the movie that much more. Rilo Kiley, Death Cab for Cutie, Guster, Spoon, Bloc Party, The Flaming Lips, I could go on, but I must go work. Click on the link to hear snippets.

Sunday in Murlynd

Jim and I have been jonesing for Red Robin steak fries for a couple weeks now. I haven't been to a RR for a good 8 years or so, Jim probably about 2. We haven't spent quality time together recently so we decided a road trip was in order. Sunday we drove out to Maryland (pronounced Murlynd if you live there) and had a delightful lunch. It was worth the 1/2 hour drive to have some strawberry lemonade and fresh, hot steak fries. We've decided to make it a quarterly outing. If you'd like to find your own RR, click above and enjoy.

And because that wasn't enough suburban Maryland life for me, I went to a co-worker's bbq that evening with Agie. It was a trek, but worth it because he and his wife were so happy to see us. They are a really nice couple. Some bbq, margaritas and the end of an extra-innings Nats victory later we were on our way home to the bustling metropolis of DC. On my way home from the metro I saw the drug dealers and prostitutes coming out to stake their corners for the evening. It was good to be back in the city.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot Part Dos

Saturday night Paul and I watched "Closer". It was a good movie, but awful and gut-wrenching in some scenes if you have ever cheated or been cheated on. One of the main characters has the name of my brother, who happens to be the IV.

Paul: "Who would name their son 'brother of Plan B'?"
Plan B: "I don't know. Why don't I ask my parents? Or grandparents? Or great-grandparents? Or maybe my great-great grandparents would know."

As much as I adore Paul, he can be an idiot.

Friday/ Most of Saturday

Weekend was bueno. We got let out of our office cages at 1 pm and amazingly, most of us were able to actually leave close to 1 which almost never happens. Stephanie has 2/3 of my old bed frame at her house and we thought the last third (headboard) would fit in Agie's SUV. Yeah, we were wrong. So we went to a late lunch at a new restaurant by my house, dropped Stephanie off at the metro and then Agie and I tooled around Chinatown for a bit before I went to meet Paul to watch the Sox game (really, what else would I do on a Friday night of a holiday weekend?). We had a nice time at the bah watching the game then headed our separate ways for homes.

Saturday I was supposed to meet Agie and Renee at the Smithsonian metro at 11 am to take in the folk life festival. Paul was going to meet us a little later for lunch and then a movie and dinner with me. I was running late (left my house at 10 to 11) so I hopped in a cab so that the girls wouldn't be standing around for 40 minutes waiting for me. Little did I know they were running late as well. I ended up standing in the sun with strange children touching me (it was very odd) putting me in a crabby mood. So when they called to say they were getting on the metro at 11:25, I decided to bail to meet Paul at his house. I couldn't get hold of him, so I headed to the office and worked for a bit (so sad, working on a Saturday - but it gave me time today to do this). Paul and I met up at 2, walked to Chinatown and grabbed some Chipotle. Agie and Renee met up with us there and we all went to see "War of the Worlds". Despite wanting Dakota Fanning to die a quick, silent death (I would have preferred a long, painful one but that would mean she would keep screeching at levels not quite high enough for only dogs to hear) and randomly thinking "I wonder how crazy Tom Cruise will get before his career completely implodes", the movie was pretty entertaining. An unexpected appearance by Tim Robbins making some very obvious political comments was a treat.

After the movie, we walked around Chinatown shopping here and there (Agie wanted to go to Urban Outfitters, Paul wanted shoes so he could start using the skateboard I got him) and then Paul and I went to his house to cook dinner. I must say I am pretty damn good in the kitchen. Paul wanted pesto with shrimp and pasta. We get to the market and he says "you're going to make it fresh, right?" Who am I to say no? It's just basil, nuts, cheese, garlic and oil. How difficult can it be? Very if you don't have a food processor. Turns out you can make pesto in a blender. Who knew? Well, other than McGuyver.

Another Reason to Move to Canada

Sandra Day O'Connor is retiring.

"I'm Going to Eat the Fat Bitch"

My boss got a fruit basket this morning. Given that he is out of the office until Tuesday I've busted into it much to the delight of my coworkers. Agie came in and grabbed a banana and some grapes. Niki walked by came in and grabbed a pear and a plum. Looking at the pear we commented on what a nice looking pear it was. Her reply "It's dimply". Me "Don't hate the pear because it is fat". Niki - see above title.

It Ain't Easy Being Green

You are Kermit the Frog.You are reliable, responsible and caring. And you
have a habit of waving your arms about
maniacally.
FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS:"Hi ho!" "Yaaay!" and "Sheesh!"
FAVORITE MOVIE:"How Green Was My Mother"
LAST BOOK READ:"Surfin' the Webfoot: A Frog's Guide to the Internet"
HOBBIES:Sitting in the swamp playing banjo.
QUOTE:"Hmm, my banjo is wet."

What Muppet are you?

I'm Sure You'll Think I'm Superficial, but....

I am going to make a statement that most of you will disagree with at first, but trust me, I am right. Overweight women should wear thongs. Panty lines are abhorent on any woman, but when you are stuck walking behind a very, very large woman with full panties that are cutting into her behind, they are that much worse. Underwear should be worn, not seen...at least in public anyway.

You Should Be Dancin'

I admit it freely, I watch "Dancing With the Stars" if I am home Wednesday evenings. I refuse to call it a guilty pleasure because I feel no guilt, nor do I feel shame. Before you mock Mark, consider this: I grew up watching Dance Fever (Adrian Zmed was no Deney Terrio), ballroom dance contests and Solid Gold.

Go Canada (and Spain)

Who says Americans are better than Canadians? Well, the people who redirected all planes there on 9/11 but those are probably the same people who are against gay marriage, national health care and cheaper prescription drugs. I think it is fantastic that the number of countries that have legalized gay marriage is up to four. We could learn a lot from our Northern neighbors. And if another Republican tool is elected in '08, I may take up the offer of someone on the website above.

Time to Play Catch Up

Things that I have not had time to blog about:

• "Hit me Baby One More Time" - mock all you want, but you have not lived until you've seen Wang Chung performing "Hot in Herrre".
• Timothy Busfield is morphing into John Ritter.
• Sprint commercial with Donny Osmond "No Tito?"
• While making breakfast for Paul and myself the other morning I realized I learned how to crack eggs open with one hand from Jack Tripper on an episode of Three's Company. I kid you not.
• I have not tasted a hot dog if Hebrew National is to be believed. Considering they answer to a higher power, I can only assume they are correct.

Items in the Express

The Express is the free, small version of the Washington Post that is handed out to Metro riders each weekday morning. It is great because it is small, manageable and has brief snippets of the bigger stories in each day's Post. There were two that caught my eye this morning on my ride in.

1. "10,477 - the number of divorces among active-duty Army officers and enlisted personnel in 2004. That's nearly double the 5,658 divorces in 2001. A chaplain said the hike shows the effects of stress from war on families." I would be interested in a study on when those couples were married and under what circumstances. Is it possible a significant amount of these marriages were quick so that soldiers were leaving behind wives instead of girlfriends? Just a thought.

2. "Souter's N.H. House Sought". I may be petty, but I love that one of the Justices who voted for governments' ability to seize private property for economic development may now lose his house. Click on link above for the press release.

Pulp Fiction

Pulp or no pulp? That is the question. I'm drinking some oj at my desk right now wishing there was pulp in it. Can you tell I hate my job right now? This is all I have time for. Ugh.

Habitrail for Humanity

This could be the solution to not only our homeless problem, but also overcrowding in prisons! Genius Onion, pure genius.

Why I Love Working Where I Do

I'm sitting at my desk after a very long day. Boss just got back into town from a week in France (a trip I almost got to go on), didn't sleep well (last mention - I promise), heavy workload, Jackson verdict....It has been a somewhat difficult day. So I sit here drinking some bourbon with a coworker and think "My job could be worse. I could work somewhere where they DON'T allow you to have a drink or open bottles at your desk". Life is good my friends, life is good.

Lazy Days of Summer

Is it the heat that makes everyone so lethargic on weekends? That's the story I'm going with. After a productive Saturday, I went to Paul's that night to grab dinner and a movie. He's got some pulminary infection caused in large part by his allergies so he's running a bit slower than usual. We decided to just have dinner and watch a movie (In Good Company - Topher Grace and Dennis Quaid were great) back at his place. We were both ready for bed by 11:30....yes, we're old, but not 1968 old. Sunday we woke up, made breakfast, took a nap (yes you read that correctly), ran some errands around his neighborhood, made lunch, laid around watching tv and took another nap. It was the laziest Sunday I have had in a very long time and it was wonderful. I'm glad I got all that sleep yesterday afternoon in light of the evening's activities.

Gunshots Rang Out Like a Bell

Turns out Vanilla Ice was incorrect. Gunshots are more of a popping sound as I found out last night between 10:30 pm and 1:00 am. 7 shots here, 10 shots there, 8, 7, 12, etc. Louder, then softer. It sounded like someone was target practicing in the alley behind my house. Either that, or some unfortunate bastard has about 40 bullets in him. Needless to say I was freaked out and didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I heard my landlord get up, come downstairs and call someone (I am assuming it was the police). Shortly after, the shots stopped. A quick perusal of the blotter this morning turned up a double shooting about a mile away. Unsure if it is related or not, but really glad it wasn't in my alley.

And for those of you with Ice, Ice Baby stuck in your head - 1. You're welcome. 2. The lyrics are linked to the title above.

Oh the Horror!!!

I'm still reeling from the shock that was the cover of this morning's Express (smaller, free version of the Washington Post). Who on God's green Earth thought that anyone would want to start their day seeing Mike Tyson in his panties? I just threw up a little in my mouth thinking about it. Click on the title above for the article and photo if you dare.

In other, better Express news I may have found the man I'm going to marry. Well, not really. But Matt Swenson must have been reading my mind when he wrote the article "Anthem Cheer for the Birds". For those of you who have never had the good fortune to attend a game at Camden (one of baseball's greatest parks), the O's fans have a bad habit of yelling "O's say" instead of the actual "O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave". It is something that just drives me batty and strikes me as rude and borderline disrespectful to our anthem. What bothers me more is there are people who are doing it at the Nats games. WE ARE NOT IN BALTIMORE. You have your own team and your own stadium - go yell O there.

As my man Matt put it "It's all well and good to be an Orioles fan in this age of Nationals baseball, but do Washingtonians have to suffer through the same desecration of the National Anthem seen every game day at Camden Yards?...Granted, there may be some guilty parties who just don't know what they're doing. For those poor souls who proudly cheer 'O's' at the Nats game, there are doctors who can treat the illness." Amen, Matt, amen.

Boys are Dumb - Throw Rocks at Them Pt. 2

I have figured out why girls think boys are dumb....other than the fact that they are a lot of the time. Women tend to talk things out/over with their friends. Men don't do this. At all it appears. And oftentimes they get mad when women do. They don't understand why we do it, we don't understand why they don't. I talk to my friends about situations to get insight (most times from both sexes in case my female brain is missing something obvious to a man brain), maybe get validation for the way/things I'm feeling/thinking or when appropriate, a smack upside the head to make me see the way I'm feeling or the thoughts I'm having are completely ridiculous and unfounded. Granted, this isn't a perfect system. The "others" are only getting one side of the story....mine. But that's kind of the point. If I'm talking to a friend about something related to a relationship I have or some jackhole move my boss pulled, etc it is because I think I am either overreacting to a situation and need someone to talk me off the proverbial ledge or checking to make sure I'm not making excuses for that other person's behavior because I tend to avoid conflict. It's a system of checks and balances and despite its flaws, it works.

And that my friends is why women are better at relationships with others than our male counterparts, minus our overemotional moments but those are only there to make up for the male underemotional robotic moments. How's that for stereotyping?

PJ Harvey? Really?

Which Rock Chick Are You?

I Was Joking About Being OLD

I stopped by Whole Foods last night on my way home since I had no vegetables or fruit in my house and I need them so I don't develop scurvy. One of my favorite wines was on sale, so I picked up a bottle and headed to the checkout with my basket of nutrition. The woman didn't card me, which is fine. I look over 21 - I learned to deal with that years ago and now laugh when I actually do get carded. I really am okay with it. What I am not okay with is the date she entered in after looking at me. 10/10/68! OHMYGOD. I am 31 and am okay with looking over 30. I cannot be okay with someone thinking I'm over 35. I don't really look that old, do I?

Oh Baby!

The total of pregnant friends of Plan B has now reached three! My best friend from high school is expecting. She is the one who has been stressing about getting pregnant and I am delighted for her. She and her husband of a year and a half just moved into a new home so the timing is perfect. I can't wait to see what happens to the tattoo around her belly button in the next 6 months. In other baby news....my other pregnant high school friend and her husband just completed their trek across the country and are settling nicely in North Carolina. I feel a road trip coming to go see her expanding belly. It is comforting to know that even surrounded by these moms-to-be I am not feeling any urge to put myself in that position any time soon. Sorry mom - looks like the pressure is still on my brother to 'produce'.

Stripper Cash

I just turned in a number of petty cash receipts (magazines and taxis add up) and all they had were one dollar bills. So I now have $44 in ones in my wallet. Friends, we're going to Camelot for lunch!

"I'm a Pretty Pretty Pony"

$5 to anyone who can tell me what the hell that is from. It's a tv show or movie or something and it's a guy saying it. This is absolutely driving me effing crazy. Ugh.

On a brighter note, googling the above mentioned phrase led me to one of the funniest blogs I've ever had the gut busting pleasure of reading. This woman is hilarious and I can only hope she and I become friends at some point. She does remind me much of my friend Katie, so maybe she's someone else's Katie. Who knows. Enjoy. February 20, 2004 is the posting with the pony reference. Definitely worth a look up.

http://finslippy.typepad.com/finslippy/

Memories, Like the Corner of My Mind

Now that I've got Cats stuck in your head (meow). Wednesday of last week I came back to my office from lunch and found two boxes from CA. I quickly figured out they must contain the stuff my mother packed away when she moved across country last month. I opened them up and among other items the boxes contained:

• My high school letter jacket (track and it still fits)
• Hundreds of pictures of my trip to South Korea junior year of high school
• Our grad night video
• Prom photos, including the booklet with everyone's photos

A few of my coworkers and I shared some laughs over the hair in the prom booklet (it was 1991 after all) and I pointed out this guy who was a friend of mine junior and senior years because he was about 6'4" and his date was maybe 5'3". I haven't thought about him for a couple years, since our reunion probably. He was still dating this girl who was the little sister (sorority) of a high school friend of mine. They met at my 20th birthday party if I recall correctly. Anyways, I remembered him fondly and then went on to talk about others in the book (a few couples got married, this is my "friend" Mark, this is my best friend of the wedding last year, etc).

The very next day I got an email from a kickball administrator saying she had received an odd email from someone looking for me. She wasn't sure if it was a bad email or not, but thought she'd take the chance and forward it to me, hoping I didn't mind. It was from Suzanne, the girl dating my old high school friend. After 12 long (wonderful according to them) years, they are getting married in November. And they seem to think they have me to thank. Coincidentally (even more so) that day Paul and I had been discussing going to SoCal for a weekend in the fall. So it looks like we'll be heading that way in November. I'm so excited to be reconnected with them - they really are a great couple and are so in love. It's fantastic to see good people happy.

Another Reason Paul Rocks

So I had my fourth dentist visit in about as many weeks this morning. I made an appointment for 7 am, which normally isn't too bad. Except Paul and I had Katie and Peter over to Paul's last night to watch the Sox/Cardinal's game (Katie is from St. Louis). We grilled out, then in once the storms started, watched the game, had some dessert and went to sleep about 11:45. The alarm went off at 5:30 am, Paul and I got up, I hopped in the shower and Paul made us breakfast. We ate, I got ready, he went back to bed (did I mention he rocks?) and I headed out to start my day. Whenever I get irritated with him, please remind me of this morning when he went out of his way, not feeling well, to wake up and do something nice for me.

Weekend of June 3rd - 5th

This past weekend was fantastic. I'm not sure what made it so great, it just was. After a hectic week, it was so nice to relax and rest and finally unpack from the Boston trip (although I still have laundry to do). Friday night I stayed in, ordered Thai (first time ever the woman kept saying "and then") and watched Boston beat my Angels (that's Anaheim Angels to you). I wanted to make it an early night because I had to wake up at 6:30 the next morning for the Race for the Cure. We put together a team here at work to honor a coworker's mom who passed away recently after battling cancer for 15 years. It's amazing to me how many people are affected by breast cancer. They had signs you could pin to you that had "In celebration of" or "In memory of". I chose to celebrate my grandmother even though she has passed away. She was winning her second fight against breast cancer when she passed away from a stroke about a year and a half ago. She was an amazing woman. Tearing up, moving on. So we did the Race Saturday morning. I ended up walking about 10 miles that day (from my house to the office, to the race start, then the 3K race, then to breakfast, then home) and ended up with swollen knees and a pulled hamstring. I AM OLD. So sad I even laughed at myself. But it was worth it. Our team raised about $2,000 for the Susan G. Komen Foundation and we had a great time doing it. I went home and napped (see above, I AM OLD) then got pretty for the Nats game with the girls. We had fun, so much that we completely missed how the 2nd base umpire ended up on the ground and why a Nat was ejected. Mystery solved Monday - he was trying to stop the player from rushing someone else and got clipped at the exact angle needed to knock him on his ass. After the game Paul and Peter (Katie's man) met up with us for drinks. Sunday Paul and I had lunch then I went home to get clean and met up with him to watch the third game in the Angels/Sox series. We had a little bet going and after the Angels' crushing 13-6 victory Saturday night we were tied up 1-1. The Sox ended up beating us (sad, sad day) and I got to find out Paul is a poor winner. The day ended well with the return of Entourage though and I went to sleep a happy girl.

Pretend I Was in a Coma

So things have been going on during the weeks (tastings, events, baseball games, etc) but I just don't have the time nor the energy to catch up on the month I've been slacking. Highlights include a reception for the Republican House Press Secretaries where I made friends with (among others) a very nice man from Perth, Australia who is delightful and charming and tons of fun; dentist appointments (it is just sad when the receptionist recognizes you); lunch with the journalist's son (nice guy, very interesting but the conversation was a bit forced); I guess I have a boyfriend now since neither of us want to see other people and we're planning more months ahead than we've been dating; I saw Star Wars III (best of the new ones, but the over acting was awful - best part was Yoda climbing up Chewy's arm...so cute); and concerts (Snow Patrol was awesome).

Memorial Day Weekend

Last weekend (Memorial Day) Paul and I went up to Boston to visit the families. It would have been the perfect long weekend but for the fact that for the third time (out of four visits to Boston) I caught a head cold. The city must not like me. We arrived late Friday night, Paul's uncle was there to pick us up and whisked our tired selves to his home where we stayed the entire weekend. His aunt and uncle are lovely people and so nice to let us come and go as we pleased. Saturday his uncle made us breakfast then we took our time getting ready and headed into the city to watch the Sox game (remember - I am dating Fever Pitch) and have a late lunch. We picked out hats and shirts for his nieces at Fenway (man it's hard to gauge the size of kids when you have none) with Paul refusing to get them pink ones. My thought on colored hats is this: If it isn't a team color, the hat shouldn't be made. With two exceptions 1. If the fan base is predominantly Irish or the team is from a predominantly Irish town, I have no problem with the green hats with the shamrock. 2. If you are under the age of 12 and are female, you can wear the pink one (you've got to get girly girls interested in sports somehow). Moving on. Saturday night we had dinner at the aunt and uncle's house with their two children and the son's two children. Let me just say, not the most well behaved kids I've ever been around. 'Nuff said. Shelly and her fiancee are great (albeit hard core Republicans but that made for great debate) and after I spent the day in bed sleeping away my cold, we ended up having drinks and watching the game Sunday (see a pattern?) with them and Paul's best friend. After a couple rounds of shots, I was very happy that I had Shelly write directions to her parents' house on a napkin as Paul was in no condition to give them to the cabbie. Monday we lazed around recovering and then headed up to the North side of Boston (about an hour trek from the South where we were staying) to meet up with my mother and have some dinner. Mom and I caught up on all the happenings with my normal aunt and the cult one as well while Paul continuously glanced at the game televised in the bar section. I understand that it was a game against the Yankees, and that he was probably a bit overwhelmed by my mother's and my near constant chatter about people he has never heard of, but it would have been nice to hear him have a conversation with my mother. He is, after all, only the fourth boy of mine she's met. Anyway, after dinner we headed over to my brother and sister-in-law's to pop in and say hello. It wasn't a long visit, nor was it very enjoyable only because Paul and I were exhausted and had to get up early and Larry and Christine were exhausted from flying in from New Orleans that day. Regardless, it was great to see them and meet their dog, who is the cutest thing ever, and hopefully when Paul and I are up there in November we'll all be in better spirits. We flew back to DC early, early, early Tuesday morning and I headed straight into the office where I worked the Longest Day Ever. My boss decided that the day I woke up at 4:30 after going to bed at 11 would be the perfect day to work until 7:30 pm. Ugh.